Winter in Texas is similar to everyone's favorite crazy bi-polar ex: you never know when it will strike. Besides being at your palest, chubbiest and sickest time of the year, Texas winters throw victims for fun loopholes daily.

1. The first thing you do (or should do) is check the weather on your phone. A high of 70 with a low of 42 accompanied by heavy wind chill and a possibility of freezing rain with the sun still shining. Sounds about right.

2. The weather check leads to the outfit(s) you choose to don. Good luck trying to wear anything presentable because the fear of unexpected weather/sleepy-cold mood will quickly override your need to look attractive

3. Chances are, your outfit guess will be crazy wrong and will end up soaking your sweater through or developing hypothermia. A.K.A. you have now personified "shambles."

4. Suddenly the sun will come out and the birds will sing and life will be beautiful at a calm 72 degrees for a day or two. This is nothing but a tease.

5. Because of the beautiful sun and misleading signs of spring, you will wear shorts and shave your legs that have finally hit the glorious "soft stage" because you honestly cannot remember the last time you touched a razor. You will also have to put on multiple layers of lotion to do some damage-control on your legs, which might be solid ash.

6. Inevitably, the next day will feel like -13 degrees with a wind that could blow you over. Your hair will prickle and grow back faster than your Kerig can produce a hot liquid.

7. If there are multiple pretty days in a row, the flu/cold/various viruses will ultimately hit you. If you end up dodging the illnesses, your teachers will make sure to schedule every test on the sunniest of days.

8. The biting cold winter returns and you ignore the signs, still riding off your vitamin D high. You fantasize about the days when the sky wasn't one gray blob. After walking around campus or running errands, you slowly become a snowman. Seeking shelter without moving for large periods of time, you burrito yourself into your sheets while binge eating goldfish.

9. At last, you give up attempting to understand the enigma that is the Texas winter and simply attempt to survive and embrace it, almost always failing miserably.