9 Signs You're A Free Spirit

9 Signs You're A Free Spirit

You're not a hippie and you're not a flower child.

When we were children, the world let us believe in the impossible. It was acceptable to believe that we could be princesses, astronauts, or movie stars. It was acceptable to believe that we could accomplish anything we set our minds to. It was acceptable to believe that we could truly live our lives to the fullest.

When we grew up, we realized that the world isn’t so kind. Most of us grew out of that carefree mindset because society told us that those childish dreams were silly, and that we should aspire to go to college and become a doctor or lawyer, and then buy a house soon after and start a family. To society, having a college degree, financial stability, a house, and a family was normal. To society, aspiring to have anything else would be preposterous, foolish, and out-of-the-ordinary.

While a majority of us no longer believe in the impossible, there is still a small group of us who do. While a majority of us are conventional and live up to societal expectations, there is a small group of us who prefer to live life on our own terms. If you’re bold enough, you might even be a free spirit. Here are 9 signs that you are a free spirit:

1. You're unconventional.

Being a free spirit means that you're unconventional. You hate conforming to societal expectations and you rarely follow the crowd; you prefer to do your own thing, your own way. Some of your decisions may be unusual and people might question you about them, but you don't care about what other people think because you believe in living life on your own terms.

2. You're fiercely independent.

Being alone doesn't bother you, but having someone else make your decisions does. You rarely seek opinions from other people regarding big life decisions because at the end of the day, you know you're going to do whatever your heart desires, even if your family and friends don't agree.

3. Freedom is your biggest priority.

Freedom is everything to a free spirit. Having the freedom to make your own decisions and live the life you want are qualities that drive your passion and zest for life. You can't stand the thought of someone clipping your wings, negating your ability to fly.

4. You have a zest for life and want to try everything.

You have a zest for life like none other, but this characteristic might make you come across as indecisive because you want to try everything that inspires you or interests you. While most of your peers have their lives figured out (what to study, what job they want to have, etc.), you find yourself bouncing back and forth between majors and goals because you haven't tried everything yet and you want to make sure you do before you make some big life decision and miss out on what could have been.

5. No one understands you.

No one understands why you can't just pick a major and stick with it. No one understands why you change your mind every minute and no one can keep up with you when you do. No one understands why you can't just be realistic and aspire to live a normal life like most people. No one understands why you'd rather travel the world and live out of a suitcase rather than settling down and buying a house. No one understands why you don't get too attached to anyone. No one understands why you're so 'spur of the moment' and make big decisions without thinking them through. No one understands you.

6. You have a lust for adventure.

While you like sitting at home on a Friday nigh with Netflix and a pizza to yourself, you have a lust for adventure and step out of your comfort zone whenever you can. Normal is boring to you and you prefer living a life that is anything but normal.

7. You can't function when you feel restricted.

You hate routines and can't stand the thought of working a normal 9-5 job; you prefer waking up every morning not knowing what to expect. You function best when you are free to make your own decisions and live by your own rules.

8. You're not a hippie and you're not a flower child.

When you think of the word "free spirit," words like "hippie" and "flower child" are often associated with it. While this may have been the case decades ago, 21st century free spirits are anything but hippies and flower children. Free spirits are just like everyone else; they pay their bills, most of them go to college, they go to parties, etc. However, free spirits are different from most people because they think differently and they view life differently. Rather than desire the normal things in life like a nice house, a fancy car, a financially stable job, etc., free spirits would rather travel the world and live out of a suitcase for a few years. Free spirits don't have the desire to settle down because they want to try everything. Free spirits live unconventionally; sometimes they make reckless decisions and do unusual things because that's the way their brain is wired. Free spirits believe in living life to the fullest and experiencing as much of it as they can.

9. The world isn't always kind to you.

For a free spirit, the world can be a lonely, hard place to live in sometimes. We're constantly surrounded by conventional mindsets and we're constantly misunderstood. For free spirits, it can feel as if no one understands us, and it can feel as if there is no one there for us. But fret not, for there is a small group of people who know exactly how you feel; you just have to find them.

To anyone who isn't a free spirit, please don't be offended by my words. If anything, count yourself as lucky for having a conventional mindset and desiring the normal things in life. Being a free spirit is difficult to say the least; we're constantly misunderstood and we're constantly seeking a purpose. Being a free spirit can make for a lonely world when we're very rarely surrounded by people who think the way we do.

To anyone who is a free spirit, please don't be offended by my words. Being a free spirit is difficult and lonely and confusing, but count yourself as lucky for having an unconventional mindset; count yourself as lucky for viewing the world and viewing your life through a different lens. Without free spirits, the world would be a boring place.

Cover Image Credit: Max Pixel

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I'd Rather Be Single Than Settle – Here Is Why Being Picky Is Okay

They're on their best behavior when you're dating.

Dating nowadays described in one word: annoying.

What's even more annoying? when people tell you that you're being too "picky" when it comes to dating. Yes, from an outside perspective sometimes that's exactly what it looks like; however, when looking at it from my perspective it all makes sense.

I've heard it all:

"He was cute, why didn't you like him?"

"You didn't even give him a chance!"

"You pay too much attention to the little things!"

What people don't understand is that it's OKAY to be picky when it comes to guys. For some reason, girls in college freak out and think they're supposed to have a boyfriend by now, be engaged by the time they graduate, etc. It's all a little ridiculous.

However, I refuse to put myself on a time table such as this due to the fact that these girls who feel this way are left with no choice but to overlook the things in guys that they shouldn't be overlooking, they're settling and this is something that I refuse to do.

So this leaves the big question: What am I waiting for?

Well, I'm waiting for a guy who...

1. Wants to know my friends.

Blessed doesn't even begin to describe how lucky I am to have the friends that I do.

I want a guy who can hang out with my friends. If a guy makes an effort to impress your friends then that says a lot about him and how he feels about you. This not only shows that he cares about you but he cares about the people in your life as well.

Someone should be happy to see you happy and your friends contribute to that happiness, therefore, they should be nothing more than supportive and caring towards you and your friendships.

2. Actually, cares to get to know me.

Although this is a very broad statement, this is the most important one. A guy should want to know all about you. He should want to know your favorite movie, favorite ice cream flavor, favorite Netflix series, etc. Often, (the guys I get stuck on dates with) love to talk about themselves: they would rather tell you about what workout they did yesterday, what their job is, and what they like to do rather than get to know you.

This is something easy to spot on the first date, so although they may be "cute," you should probably drop them if you leave your date and can recite everything about their life since the day they were born, yet they didn't catch what your last name was.

3. How they talk about other women.

It does not matter who they're talking about, if they call their ex-girlfriend crazy we all know she probably isn't and if she is it's probably their fault.

If they talk bad about their mom, let's be honest, if they're disrespecting their mother they're not going to respect you either. If they mention a girl's physical appearances when describing them. For example, "yeah, I think our waitress is that blonde chick with the big boobs"

Well if that doesn't hint they're a complete f* boy then I don't know what else to tell you. And most importantly calling other women "bitches" that's just disrespectful.

Needless to say, if his conversations are similar to ones you'd hear in a frat house, ditch him.

4. Phone etiquette.

If he can't put his phone down long enough to take you to dinner then he doesn't deserve for you to be sitting across from him.

If a guy is serious about you he's going to give you his undivided attention and he's going to do whatever it takes to impress you and checking Snapchat on a date is not impressive. Also, notice if his phone is facedown, then there's most likely a reason for it.

He doesn't trust who or what could pop up on there and he clearly doesn't want you seeing. Although I'm not particularly interested in what's popping up on their phones, putting them face down says more about the guy than you think it does.

To reiterate, it's okay to be picky ladies, you're young, there's no rush.

Remember these tips next time you're on a date or seeing someone, and keep in mind: they're on their best behavior when you're dating. Then ask yourself, what will they be like when they're comfortable? Years down the road? Is this what I really want? If you ask yourself these questions you might be down the same road I have stumbled upon, being too picky.. and that's better than settling.

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Pride? Pride.

Who are we? Why are we proud?


This past week, I was called a faggot by someone close to me and by note, of all ways. The shock rolled through my body like thunder across barren plains and I was stuck paralyzed in place, frozen, unlike the melting ice caps. My chest suddenly felt tight, my hearing became dim, and my mind went blank except for one all-encompassing and constant word. Finally, after having thawed, my rage bubbled forward like divine retribution and I stood poised and ready to curse the name of the offending person. My tongue lashed the air into a frenzy, and I was angry until I let myself break and weep twice. Later, I began to question not sexualities or words used to express (or disparage) them, but my own embodiment of them.

For members of the queer community, there are several unspoken and vital rules that come into play in many situations, mainly for you to not be assaulted or worse (and it's all too often worse). Make sure your movements are measured and fit within the realm of possible heterosexuality. Keep your music low and let no one hear who you listen to. Avoid every shred of anything stereotypically gay or feminine like the plague. Tell the truth without details when you can and tell half-truths with real details if you must. And above all, learn how to clear your search history. At twenty, I remember my days of teaching my puberty-stricken body the lessons I thought no one else was learning. Over time I learned the more subtle and more important lessons of what exactly gay culture is. Now a man with a head and social media accounts full of gay indicators, I find myself wondering both what it all means and more importantly, does it even matter?

To the question of whether it matters, the answer is naturally yes and no (and no, that's not my answer because I'm a Gemini). The month of June has the pleasure of being the time of year when the LGBT+ community embraces the hateful rhetoric and indulges in one of the deadly sins. Pride. Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera, the figures at the head of the gay liberation movement, fought for something larger than themselves and as with the rest of the LGBT+ community, Pride is more than a parade of muscular white men dancing in their underwear. It's a time of reflection, of mourning, of celebration, of course, and most importantly, of hope. Pride is a time to look back at how far we've come and realize that there is still a far way to go.

This year marks fifty years since the Stonewall Riots and the gay liberation movement launched onto the world stage, thus making the learning and embracing of gay culture that much more important. The waves of queer people that come after the AIDS crisis has been given the task of rebuilding and redefining. The AIDS crisis was more than just that. It was Death itself stalking through the community with the help of Regan doing nothing. It was going out with friends and your circle shrinking faster than you can try or even care to replenish. Where do you go after the apocalypse? The LGBT+ community was a world shut off from access by a touch of death and now on the other side, we must weave in as much life as we can.

But we can't freeze and dwell of this forever. It matters because that's where we came from, but it doesn't matter because that's not where we are anymore. We're in a time of rebirth and spring. The LGBT+ community can forge a new identity where the AIDS crisis is not the defining feature, rather a defining feature to be immortalized, mourned, and moved on from.

And to the question of what does it all mean? Well, it means that I'm gay and that I've learned the central lesson that all queer people should learn in middle school. It's called Pride for a reason. We have to shoulder the weight of it all and still hold our head high and we should. Pride is the LGBT+ community turning lemons into lemon squares and limoncello. The lemon squares are funeral cakes meant to mourn and be a familiar reminder of what passed, but the limoncello is the extravagant and intoxicating celebration of what is to come. This year I choose to combine the two and get drunk off funeral cakes. Something tells me that those who came before would've wanted me to celebrate.

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