For the longest time, I thought of myself not as an individual but as “the other one.” From school to sports to hobbies, my twin sister and I did everything together. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like without her. Even now, I catch myself using the royal “we” although the person I’m talking to doesn’t know I have a twin. They probably think I’m odd.
Once someone learns that I’m a twin, I prepare myself for the inevitable shower of questions. For better or for worse, all twins have gotten these questions at some point. It’s funny how the interrogation is always the same.
1. Who’s older?
Ninety-nine percent of the time, this is the first question you’ll be asked. Well, Jessica’s older. Does she hold it over you? No, she’s not like that. Then…by how much? Sixteen minutes. Wow, that’s a long time. Yeah, you want the whole birth story?
2. How can I tell you apart?
We got this one a lot more when we were younger. I wear blue, she wears pink. My face is rounder. We part our hair on different sides. My voice is slightly higher—if you notice those things. She’s left-handed. I have a freckle on my nose. We’re just…different. I just loved those ladies who made us stand side by side while they studied our faces to try to pick out differences. Oh, the awkward scrutiny!
3. Are you rooming together?
I know that some twins do, and they get along just fine. There’s nothing wrong with that. But Jessica and I wanted to become a little more independent in college. It’s amusing how surprised some people are when we tell them we aren’t in the same dorm.
4. Have you ever switched classes?
No. The usual reply: “You should! If I were a twin I’d totally do it. Imagine the pranks!” But we were never adventurous enough to do something like that. Besides, we confused enough people without being purposeful about it.
5. What’s it like having a twin?
It seems like everyone wishes they had a twin. The curiosity and jealousy are so keen that sometimes I feel like a celebrity.
The pros: I’ve got a best friend for life, a constant confidant, and a built-in buddy for uncomfortable find-a-partner games. As much as I complain about only blowing out half of my candles, I’m glad we share a birthday because I don’t like getting too much attention for myself.
The cons: The competition. With grades, sports, work, and even the amount of food I put on my plate, I always feel like I should do just as well as my sister or a little bit better. We’re relentlessly neck and neck, which pushes me to work hard but also draws me into a dangerous comparison contest. Now we’re in the same college pursuing the same major, so it still hasn’t stopped. I sometimes forget that my identity is independent of my sister’s. In many ways, our uniqueness derives from our mutual existence, so it’s often a struggle to find significance apart from each other.
6. Are you two telepathic?
No. No. No.
7. Are you in my math class?
Ummm, I’ve never seen you before in my life. Oh, you must be thinking of my twin. This happens a lot. Like A LOT. I’ll be embraced by a kid who claims that I taught them swim lessons. I’ll be greeted in the dorm by someone who seems to recognize me when I have no idea who they are. I’ll be called Jessica by people who should be able to tell us apart by now. It’s okay, I answer to both names.
8. Are you going to have a double wedding?
I can’t predict the future—can you? That’s way too far off for me to know. Sure, it would be fun, and I’m not opposed to the idea. If it works out that way, let’s do it. First things first, though, we’ve gotta find fiancés. Then we can start talking wedding details…but I’m leaving all of that up to the Lord.
9. Wait…you guys are twins?
Because I’m so used to people joking about “seeing double” when they meet us, it always catches me off guard to encounter someone who has no trouble telling us apart. For all my wishing to be my own person, I always feel a twinge of disappointment that our twin power has somehow vanished. That’s when I realize I’m thankful to be a twin. It’s a special relationship, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
