1. "Dining hall food is worse than prison food." 

I'm not really sure what kind of food you were given at home, but unless your mother is Julia Child herself, dining hall food is honestly not that much worse than what you're probably used to. It's no home cooked turkey dinner, but it's sure as hell better than eating ramen for the 6th day in a row because you decided not to get meal points this year.  

2. "My professor is Satan incarnate."

Professors are tough. At least all of the best ones are. Remember that this is college and not high school. Professors aren't necessarily here to walk through everything step by step anymore when you need help. Yeah it's tough love, but it will prepare you for the real world. 

3. "I know I've only known my roommate for six weeks but I'M IN LOVE WITH HER."

Give it three more months and you'll probably want to strangle your roommate. The beginning is the honeymoon stage, then things start to get tough when your roommate secretly uses your razor for the third time in a row. Ask first damnit!

4. "I have been studying for this midterm for 76 hours straight."

People seem to get some weird satisfaction out of arguing who studied longer and harder for their tests. But unless you want to pass out from exhaustion and miss that midterm, you'll need a break. Personally I like to base my studying habits off of this motto: "Always choose a lazy person to do a hard job. Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it."  

5. "I have to sell my kidney to pay for tuition."

Alright, as an out-of-state student I will say that this statement is not that much of an exaggeration. College is expensive, that's for sure, but the key is to stop complaining about tuition and instead make the most of how much you're paying. Also get a dope job after graduation to prove to your parents that taking out a second mortgage was worth it in the end. 

6. "If I ever saw a person from [insert rival school here], I would fight them."

We all know how much we're supposed to hate our rival schools. But let's be honest, I have friends at UCLA, USC, and even the dreaded Stanfurd. If I ran into one of them on gameday not only would I not murder them, but I would probably take them around the tailgates with me. And then promptly show my school's superiority by crushing them at a game of beer pong.

7. "Dude I totally hooked up with like 5 girls last weekend."

Roughly translated: "I'm a freshman and wanted to sound cool. Still snuck in a makeout in though *HIGH FIVE*."  

8. "I took 21 shots on 21st birthday"

Shut up. No you didn't. You are approximately 5'2" and 90 pounds so I'm taking the fact that your liver is working and heart is beating as proof that you did not take that many shots. No one thinks you're cool; go finish your Mike's Hard.

9. "I LOVE/HATE THIS PLACE."

These phrases will most likely be spoken multiple times within mere hours of each other. College, for all its fun times, cool people, and life experiences, can be an unbelievably stressful four years of your life. Just remember that you chose this place for a reason and, even with it's ups and downs, you're still going to enjoy the ride.