I'll be the first to admit it -- most English majors are at least a little crazy. It's a requirement. Aside from our love for books, grammar, and writing (although there are always a few English majors who hate one or two of those things) we love smelling books and can go on about a single aspect of our favorite novel for an unbearably long time. Crazy we may be, but we're also incredibly hard working and have our share of little quirks.
1. Bashing Twilight in class.
Is this just at my university, or is it universal? In my experience, the horrifyingly awful writing techniques of Twilight are bashed and mocked often in English classes. The professors take part, and we could keep going for hours if given the chance. Usually, though, someone with a level head steps in and ruins the fun by saying something along the lines of, "Okay, yeah, but what about Beowulf?"
2. When people think you don't have real work.
Oftentimes people assume that being an English major is easy. After all, don't we just have to snuggle ourselves into a corner with a blanket and hot chocolate to enjoy a novel we'll love anyway? And then, maybe, write about it some? Don't worry, it's entirely normal to want to crush these people with hundreds of pounds of books. Clearly they've never seen Middle English, let alone Old English. Nor do they realize that we often have classes that require over a hundred pages to be read each week -- often leading to semesters where the average number of pages we're expected to read each week totals to about 500. Plus being an English major doesn't mean that we love all kinds of literature and all books within even our favorite era or genre of literature, so we often have to read and write about books that we hate. Don't even get me started on all the papers.
3. The horror of finals week.
Finals week -- the week where an eight to ten page paper (sometimes longer) is due in every single one of our classes, unless you were blessed enough to take a gen. ed. that doesn't require a final paper. Oftentimes you'll have professors who assign final papers and final exams. It's basically a seemingly never-ending several weeks of researching, reading, writing, coffee, and dark circles that belong on basset hounds.
4. Fangirling together.
Sometimes, you'll read a book or short story that everyone (or most people) in your class loves, or you'll take a class specifically on Tolkien or C.S. Lewis. When that happens, let the fangirling begin. Our professors aren't above joining in, either (or even starting it), exclaiming things like, "Isn't it so cool?" and "Oh my gosh, that scene is just so romantic!"
5. When people express opinions about a book they've never read.
People do this all the time -- they hear someone express extreme hatred or love for a book (or some other kind of book-related opinion) and go around echoing that sentiment...without ever having read the book themselves. When you have a differing opinion, they practically try to claw your throat out in a desperate attempt to protect their poorly adapted opinion. Ugh.
6. Hating a widely loved book or character.
Of course, when you read and analyze as many books as we do, you're going to find some that you hate (even if you still appreciate what the book is saying). Or maybe books that you love which, nevertheless, contain beloved characters that you somehow manage to detest. I, for example, love Jane Eyre but hate Rochester with every fiber of my being. I think he's a manipulative snot. Most people vehemently disagree with me and think the novel is the most romantic thing ever, so it has led to some great, hilarious conversations.
7. Writing in your books.
Whether you've always been a supporter of scribbling in the margins of your novels or whether you couldn't imagine blemishing the perfectly white pages of your books until after you became an English major, few of us can escape majoring in English without finding ourselves obsessed with writing all over our books. Whether they're textbooks or novels, the margins exist to be written in. You literally can't stand online books because it's so much harder to write in them (not to mention you can't feel the pages against your fingers or smell the books, which is a huge, irreplaceable part of any reading experience).
8. You always read introductions and prefaces.
Ahhh, remember the days before college when you didn't feel obligated to read the introductions, prefaces, author's note, and literally every page in the entire book? Well, those days are officially gone. Even in gen. ed. courses, you feel obligated to read the introductions despite the fact that they're usually not assigned. The worst part is that the introductions oftentimes give away the biggest plot points of the book, sometimes even giving you a play-by-play of its events, but give you incredible insights into what the author is saying. So all the surprises are ripped out from under you, but you understand the novel so much better. Why can't they just make the introduction an afterward?
9. The pain of spotting grammatical mistakes in professional settings.
Whether it's a giant billboard, an internet ad, or a published book, it brings us great pain to find grammatical errors -- particularly glaringly obvious ones -- somewhere they most definitely should not be. Some of us can shrug off grammatical mistakes in casual settings like Facebook and text messages, but books and ads are professional -- there should have been an editor at some point whose entire purpose was to keep someone from printing an ad that says, "Cant sleep? Try are mattress!"
