Seven years ago my best friend, a successful physician, asked for the hand of a wonderful lady who was his college sweetheart. They have had a successful marriage thus far and their third child was born last year. When I used to live near them, they would invite me to their house every now and then for a cup of tea. One summer we were chatting on the porch and our conversation somehow ended up being about marriage. I then teased that I was thinking about getting married. I asked if they would recommend it for me. They learned that I wanted to get married for the wrong reasons - I was a freshman in college back then. The following were the advice they told me to consider before getting married:
The Enchanted Fairy Tale:
After three to six months of marriage and a memorable honeymoon, the couple will wake up from their fantasy dream to a world full of responsibilities. Only then will they realize that marriage wasn’t all about sex and romance. Of course, it will be a part of their lifestyle,but it won’t be their primary goal. Maybe secondary. Their career and children will be enough keep them busy.
Let them hear “I Love You” and "Thank You":
For some reason, this is especially hard for men. Unfortunately, in our busy lifestyles we forget to take the time to tell our spouse how much we love them. In addition, we don't thank them enough. Don't take it personally if you feel that your partner doesn't appreciate you. They may be say "Thank-You" non-verbally: like surprising you with flowers or bringing you breakfast to bed. Here are more non-verbal things they may do instead of saying "Thank You". Furthermore, whether you're having a good or bad day, always give them smiles. For Pete's sake, fake it if you have to!
One will have to give in:
There is no shame from backing away from an argument. One night she will be the winner, the other night he “may” be the winner. In order for the marriage to continue, one of them has to accept the other's opinion whether he or she likes it or not.
Each person has a special gift from God:
We are all different than each other. If they want to continue loving each other forever and ever then one shouldn't compare his or her partner with another person.
Be respectful of one another:
Play, laugh, tease, and joke, but most importantly don’t cross boundaries. That includes shouting, using bad language, and hitting. Forgive them if they did a mistake and mention the mistake later on. If they feel that their spouse can't accept the advice, then they can discuss the mistake.
The deadly sins:
Telling your spouse about your past sins, including personal secrets, will put distrust in their hearts. Did you expect your partner to say, “Oh Honey! Thank you for being so honest with me by telling me that you did this and that". They should sincerely repent and not fall into their previous sins again.
The Mother-in-Law advice:
Mother-in-Laws can sometimes be the cause of a divorce. The couple should do their best to keep their fights and arguments away from them. Give them a warm welcome when they come over for a visit!
What happens in the house, stays in the house:
Again, there will come times when you both get into an argument. Keep your fights and problems to yourself. Do your best to solve them using wisdom and patience. Also, don't tell your friends about your personal life with your partner or your partner's shortcomings.
The children advice:
Last but not least, have some children! Children are like adhesive glue for their parents. Sometimes they are the reason why couples stay together forever and other times they are the reason why parents aren't lonely.
