Heat got you down? As an Arizona native, I’m no stranger to dealing with hot weather and the consequential face-melting boredom it induces.
While many people claim that there is scarce entertainment in this satanic slice of the Southwest, I beg to differ. In fact, I have found many ways to keep myself plenty busy in the scorching days that come between spring move-out and fall move-in.
While you wait impatiently for school to resume, be it while mooching off of your mom’s luxurious washer/dryer or slaving away at your internship, here are nine cheap or free things to do that won’t break the bank.
1. Go to a local pool.
Many neighborhoods have community pools that, although locked, might have some patrons nice enough to let you in to their oasis. Or you can always pull a Samantha Jones; steal someone’s pool key and then make a run for it when confronted.
Remember the sunscreen!
2. Play a game of hot-car chicken.
Nothing gets your adrenaline pumping like trying not to tap out first. Who will get 911 called for them first? Will anyone get a third degree burn from a seatbelt?
Don’t forget the oven mitts to outsmart your competition.
3. Capture and domesticate coyotes.
Coyotes are close enough to dogs, right? And since we live with dogs, and trust them with our deepest darkest secrets (Pete, we tell no one who ate the last slice of cheesecake at 3 a.m., okay?). Coyotes are no big deal.
Bring everyone out to a nice desert area after dark to have fun for the whole family. I suggest some Scooby gummy snacks to set the mood.
4. Make Saguaro Cactus Thorn Crowns
Alright ladies, don’t get too excited. Now that the flower crown fad has started to die down slightly, I present to you…. Thorny cactus crowns. Make at your own risk.
Or, order a kit online that includes replacement fingers for only $19.99.
5. Go Chupacabra Hunting
The myth of the chupacabra has persisted throughout Latin America and some parts of the Southwest, including Arizona. Even though the last “sighting” was in Goodyear like forever ago, that doesn’t mean they don’t exist!
So grab your pals and head into the wilderness with your night vision goggles for some good old-fashioned fun. It's like Pokémon Go, only with the chance you'll discover a devil.
6. Water the Lawn with Fire Dance Moves
Paying too much for utilities? Not to worry! There’s a reason the sprinkler dance is here to stay. Why pay for sprinklers to do the job when you can have a day of fun and do it yourself? Just follow these moves and your grass will be green in no time.
I promise it totally works like that.
7. Taste-Test Snake Venom
Too young for that Tuesday night margarita special at your local bar? No problem. There’s a free alternative that is lower in calories, too. Head into the desert and collect at many snakes as you can – bonus points for big rattles! Then, bring them back home and see which one has the most #delish venom.
I’d recommend cutting up some limes beforehand to take away the sting.
8. Skim the Pool with a Colander
For a fun activity that yields a light, easy summer snack (free!), skim your pool with a colander after one of our famous monsoon storms. You’ll get a lot of free greenery, and who doesn’t need to eat more greens?
Move over, spiralized zucchini, shredded leaves and yard debris is the new fake pasta.
9. Practice your Wicked Witch of the West Impression
If you didn’t make the drama club cut last year, or if you just want a new party trick, now is the time to step up your game. For a game that’s even more fun and realistic than charades, have your friends cover your face in green face paint. Step outside, allow yourself to be baked by the sun, and yell “I’M MELTING!” until you nail the perfect impression.
Toto, we’re not in A.C. anymore.
