I know what you're probably thinking, "What is the 80/20 rule? Is that a fraction? Are we about to solve a math problem?" Thankfully, no. There have been countless articles about the 80/20 rule in relationships and frankly, I don't seem to understand it. The 80/20 rule applies to many things, including diets, budgets and different aspects of life, but why use this "rule" as an excuse to cheat?
Writing in The Sun, columnist Sophie Roberts says, "The 80/20 rule allows for people in relationships to take a fraction of their time away from their partner to take part in these self-fulfilling activities." She goes on to say that some cases use this "rule" to enjoy the company of other sexual or romantic partners.
From my perspective, if you aren't dating to marry, you're dating to break up and this "80/20" rule doesn't seem to keep couples together.
If you love the person you're with and can see a future with them, why would you desire someone else, whether that be sexually or romantically?
If you love to snowboard but your partner doesn't, then I could see where this 80/20 rule comes in because snowboarding makes you happy, but your partner doesn't like it. But if you're using that 20% to chase after someone who isn't your partner, especially sexually and romantically, you're ruining the whole concept.
In any relationship, there will more than likely be things that you and your partner don't agree on, whether that be activities, food, movies, Netflix shows, etc. The list goes on and on.
No relationship will be a perfect relationship. All relationships have their differences, but if you're chasing after someone else to earn sex or romance that you aren't getting with your partner, you're cheating and being unfaithful. If you aren't getting what you think you deserve in a relationship, that isn't an excuse to cheat. If you're unhappy, leave the relationship.
If you think you found something better, leave the relationship. Do not put someone in that kind of situation of heartbreak just because you think you found something better.
All relationships are different. Open relationships, for example, can use this rule and there isn't a problem. If you and your partner, however, have established boundaries (for lack of a better word) when it comes to your relationship and desiring someone else goes way past those boundaries, do not use this 80/20 "rule" because you are, without a doubt, cheating.
Use the 80/20 rule to go to a sculpting class because you know your partner would just be flat out bored, but it's something you enjoy.
Don't use the 80/20 rule because you desire someone else.
