So folks, thanks for checking out this article written by an Angeleno about why I deserve to be punched in the face like 98% of the time. Being from LA is great and I love it, but whenever I bring it up, someone sarcastically says “Oh you’re from LA?” and I’m left feeling a lil' bit annoying. In fact, my personality relies on the fact I’m from LA, that if I was gifted a shirt that said “I’m from California you wouldn’t understand” (THX again Dan, love you always).
How many of these do you do? Do you deserve to be punched in the face? Do you want to punch me in the face now? Why is this so violent? Can’t we all just be friends?
1. Always with the name dropping
Alright, let’s start with the most annoying. We’ve all heard the “Ok so let me tell you this SUPER funny story about this one time I was at the ARCLIGHT and I embarrassed myself in front of Jennette Mccurdy,” and if you’re from LA you probably have a celeb story (or two or three) from the Arclight. But other than you, no one cares, especially if you say something along the lines of “You’d be surprised how short Tom Cruise is in real life!” because Tom Cruise is one of the last remaining super stars and the fact he’s 5’7 won't change that in our hearts.
2. Never ceasing to compare the weather to LA
Alright, Liz from Los Angeles no one gives a flying hootenanny that your hometown is 80 and dry year round. This humidity isn’t going to kill you so stop acting like it. Also, snow is great.
3. Always questioning why anyone would live anywhere else
If you spend the day accidentally putting down your friend's hometowns you kinda deserve to be punched in the face, sure a small town up north doesn't have the plethora of activities that a big city does but it has charm. You’re just being a lil' self-centered assuming the world revolves around your city.
4. Making anything that happens in LA about them
If a tragedy happens in LA the first thing the native Angelenos will say is something along the lines of, “the all-girls Catholic school I attended for one year was just around the corner from there.” Chill, how long have you been out of high school? Also, it's 8 blocks away minimum it’s not actually that close. Stop being dumb.
5. Comparing the culture to LA
I get it, LACMA and the Getty are great. But guess what, they stayed in LA and YOU left. They will still be there when you return. Just because a city a tenth the size of LA has a tenth the amount of culture doesn’t mean it's unworthy of your presence. Don’t compare everything in LA to LA and maybe you’ll *GASP* have fun.
6. Reminding you of the diversity of the west coast
No, I had no idea that world class skiing is a three-hour drive from LA. You didn’t mention it at all. Also the desert? Wow. This is so new to me.
7. Complaining about the Mexican food
Sigh. I don’t need to go into detail about this. Just look at any California meme page ever and you’ll know.
8. Did I mention name dropping?
I almost put the way Valley Girls talk because OMG that’s like so real and sooo annoying, but alas that is no longer just an LA thing so we have to move forward. Name dropping is annoying. BUT it also gives me an excuse to tell you about the time that like I bumped into Steve Carell at Jerry’s Famous Deli. It was wild.
