Kids, you either love them or you hate them. If you work with kids, you have a much more complex relationship with the tiny humans that surround you daily. Even though the adults in charge (yes, that means you) are supposed to teach the kiddos the lessons, more often than not they're the ones teaching us. Here are eight things you learn when you work with kids, besides the fact that you never want kids.
1. Deep breaths are the key to keeping your cool
Kids are chaotic, and that's putting it lightly. They go a hundred miles a minute, and hardly ever slow down. Patience is key, unless you want to be fired for screaming at a five year old. I can't even tell you how many times a day I find myself closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, as a coping mechanism for whatever crazy antic is happening i front of me.
2. Runny noses, boogers, and the likes aren't that big of a deal anymore
I don't know how, but kid noses run so much more than an adult's. Snot runs down faces, boogers are everywhere, and it's not a finished day if you haven't been sneezed on at least once. Just thank your lucky stars that it's not vomit or pooped pants.
3. Negotiation is the only way to keep the peace some days
"Okay, if you don't splash me for the rest of class you can go down the slide" or "Let's jump in three more times, and then we can play a game." Negotiation is sometimes the only way to get a kid to do what you want, and those of us that work with stubborn kids daily know the struggle. You don't want to give in, but you also don't want a screaming kid on your hands. Negotiation leads to middle ground, or even on a good day, a win for you.
4. You become immune to the amount of times you're touched in a day
Kids are super touchy. They crawl on you, touch your face, want piggy back rides, and just want to hang on you. The only way I make it through is to go to my happy place, where I'm in a bubble with no touching allowed.
5. You learn to hide your laughter when a kid says something inappropriate, or impolite
Kids have absolutely no filter, and most times it makes for some pretty amusing situations. Others, it gets real awkward real fast. With enough practice, you learn to hide your smile until you're done explaining why we can't say that Mommy drinks special juice every night.
6. Temper tantrums are your literal nightmares
You either see them coming a mile off, or they pop up out of nowhere. The screaming, the crying, the pouting....*shudders* Tantrums make newbie child care workers tremble in fear, and they make the veterans contemplate why exactly they chose to work here instead of a nice boutique.
7. Kids can be the most savage little humans you've ever met...
Kids are mean. Period. They trick you with their small size and cute face, and then completely rip you apart. You thought you looked good when you showed up to work? No worries, some kid will tell you otherwise. Hair cut? They'll probably ask you where all your hair went, or why you're bald. And no matter how savage they are, always remember your deep breaths. Prison is hard, and there's no Netflix.
8. Or the sweetest little angels to ever grace the world
There's no in between.
Kids can switch from devils to angels, from assholes to your best friends all in the blink of an eye. Work with them for one day, and you'll experience a thousand different emotions, from happy to infuriated, from disgusted to filled with love. They can (and will) drive you crazy, and make you want to quit your job 99% of the time. But, the other 1% makes all those terrible times worth it. And it's enough to almost make you want one of your own. Almost.
