Freshman year brings a lot of new experiences, like living with a stranger. Whether you met over a roommate app or were paired by the school, you never truly know what that person is like until you have lived with them for a few weeks. Speaking from experience, I moved out of my room after 2 1/2 weeks of living with a girl that was not a good match for me. That does not mean she was a bad person, we were just too different to live together. I moved in with another girl down the hall after getting to know her for two weeks, and it was the greatest decision ever!
So here are 8 tips for living with a roommate that you did not know until move-in day:
1. They are not perfect and neither are you.
She may not be your BFF, and that is OKAY! She may say or do things that you do not like, but chances are, you do the same to her without realizing it.
2. Talk things out.
Do not assume that she knows you are hurt or bothered by something she did. Take time to sit down and talk about the issue. Do not avoid confrontation. You can even make a notecard with the thing you want to discuss so you do not forget (my roommate did). :)
3. Kill her. WITH KINDNESS.
Sometimes people can be so rude or annoying that you want to kill them, literally. But let's be honest, that does not solve the problem if you are sitting in jail. So kill them with kindness instead! Compliment her on her outfit in the morning. Make her bed for her when she did not have time to do that before class. Bring her some coffee (because who does not like coffee?). Be the roommate you want her to be. Make sense?
4. Do not suffocate her.
It's not what you're thinking. Not back to the whole not killing her thing. Help her when she needs help, but do not suffocate her when she is capable of doing it on her own. You are not her mother, you are a friend.
5. DO NOT HAVE HIGH EXPECTATIONS.
DO NOT come to college expecting your roommate to be your best friend that you do everything with. Truth is, that does not always happen. It is better to come in with low expectations and be surprised with a good roommate, than to have unrealistic expectations and be disappointed.
6. R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
Respect your roommate. Do not go through her stuff while she is gone. Do not talk about her secrets or embarrassing things that are discussed in your room with other people. Be a good friend (even if you are not actually friends), and show a little respect. If you do, she'll be more likely to return the favor.
7. Trust that God has a bigger plan in your roommate situation.
I heard a quote once that said something like this:
"There will always be a reason you meet people. Either they will change your life or you will change theirs."
You never know why God has placed you where you are. Just trust that He has a purpose in that. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in the Lord with all you heart, and do not rely on your own understanding; think about Him in all your ways and He will make straight your paths."
8. Pray for her.
She needs prayer just as much as you do. Pray for her before you get to school and pray for her everyday. Ask her if there is anything in specific that you can pray for her, but do not go around sharing that with everyone else. Pray for the relationship between the two of you, whether good or bad.
Truth is, none of us are perfect, so do not expect your roommate to be perfect either. Have patience, show love, and be the roommate that you want her to be. If all else fails, you can always get a new roommate next year! Just enjoy the lesson you'll learn from this one.
