Since I’m about to leave for my second year at college, I’ve started to reflect on this time last year, when I was a freshman leaving home for the first time. The more I think about it, the more I remember being way more unprepared than anyone, well, prepared me for. So I’m going to tell you some things that you ignorant freshmen might want to know about your first few days at school (because I really wish that someone had told me this stuff before I left). You’re welcome in advance.
1. You’re going to have a lot of free time. You’re also going to have no idea what to do with it.
Most schools will have the freshmen and new students move in early to do yet another bonding and familiarizing and lecturing and touring and mingling and introduction orientation type thing. Boston College has "Welcome Week" and, spoiler alert, it was nothing new. It was a whole week of basically hearing everything I’d already heard a second and third time. It was boring. It was even more boring because their “activities” and “scheduled events” only took up a very small fraction of your day. The rest was all free time. Sounds great, right? It does, until you realize that you don’t know what to do with it. At all. I spent a lot of time just walking around, kind of wandering, not really going anywhere but just trying to make the time pass until I found some person that resembled a friend or companion that would aimlessly adventure with me. Fill your free time getting organized; pick up your books from the bookstore, make sure you know where your classes are for the first day, familiarize yourself with your room/dorm. And don’t be afraid to float around and see where the day/wind/general public takes you. You may have the urge to just sit in your room until the next organized thing happens. Don’t do that (please, I’m serious). Get out there, even if you have nothing to do and no one to do it with. The time will pass I promise.
2. You’re going to have a lot of questions. You’re also not going to have any clue who to go to for answers.
Especially once classes hit, I had a lot of academic questions. While I was assigned an academic advisor, she didn’t prove to be very helpful in seeking out direct answers to my inquiries. I was lost; I had no idea who to talk to half the time about a certain question I had. The other half of the time, I knew what type of person would have the answer to what I needed to ask, but had no idea what their actual contact information (like name, for starters) was, much less where to find them. My best advice for this problem is to just ask anybody. They might send you on a crazy treasure hunt, goose-chase type adventure but at least you’ll get somewhere. Or at least further than you were when you started. RAs are a really useful tool that I didn’t utilize enough. Take advantage of the people that are supposed to be your dorm “parents” for the year because they know more than you might think.
3. You probably won’t have an actual “night out” until your second or third week
You go to college thinking it’ll be an instant party. Well it’s not. Sorry to burst that bubble for ya. The first Friday night I spent at school I just walked around. Literally I walked all over campus with a group of people I had just met hours before and wandered. We had nothing to do, nowhere to go. We were very plainly and simply looking for a party and it just wasn’t happening. We were all really defeated and felt straight up pathetic, but looking back it was a very memorable night. I met some of my best friends that night and we had really good, genuine conversations.
4. You’re going to miss your home friends.
Picture this: you’re standing in your dorm room after having just finished yet another “funny” skit-like lecture about sexual abuse and bullying (there are a ton of these and they're redundant, but important nonetheless). You’re pursuing Twitter, checking in on your friends from home and just general "trending topics" and you come across an insanely funny cat gif. You laugh out loud and, naturally, you want to share it with someone else so they can laugh with you. Without hesitation you think of your best friend from home who loves cat gifs. Almost as soon as you finish thinking, “Hey, so and so from home really loves cat gifs!” you realize, “so and so” isn’t here. You stop laughing, consider texting them, and then sigh because you realize it’s just not the same. These are depressing moments, I’m not going to lie to you, but use them as opportunities. Maybe your roommate or next door neighbor likes cat gifs just as much (or more!) than your friend from home. You never know.
5. You might think you’re really good at names and faces. You’re not as good as you think you are.
You are going to meet so many people the first week at school. And you’re going to think to yourself “I got this, I remember everyone’s name.” Until you see their face and you realize you have no idea if you’ve even met them or not. Best advice: milk it. A new favorite game that you’ll find people like to play is “do you remember my name or not?” And some people will jokingly give you a hard time if you don’t. If you can cleverly get away with pretending you know exactly who they are, that’s prime, you’ll do just fine. Otherwise, try to sneakily trick them into revealing their name again or just flat out admit that you have no freaking clue. My B, I’ve met a lot of people this week, don’t take it personally.
6. The people you hang out with the first few days are probably not going to be the people you hang out with throughout the year.
Everyone is in the same boat as a freshman. You might have heard this before, but it’s very true. However, everyone is in the same boat without a paddle. So no one is actually getting anywhere, which means you’ll cling to one another until you figure out what direction you want to go in. I remember doing some wandering with some people that I’d met God only knows where/when, and thinking “I do not actually like these people. I don’t like what they have to say, I’m bored, I hope this is not who I’m stuck with for the rest of the year.” You’re going to have those thoughts; don’t let them scare you because most likely you’ll all be moving on once you start to find more people that you actually start to like.
7. The best way to make friends is to see who sticks.
Remember when I said I didn’t like the people I first found myself hanging out with? Well, they didn’t stick. If someone asked me where I met half of my friends from school, I probably couldn’t tell you. Couldn’t give you a time, couldn’t give you a place, couldn’t tell you who else happened to be there. You may have even met these people twice before you register who they are. It kind of just happens so in this case, your best bet is to go with the flow and see who you gravitate towards, but also who just starts to reappear in your college life. All of a sudden you’ll wake up and realize that you have friends at college! You don’t know how you got them but there they are! Just go with it and don’t ask questions
8. You might not feel as homesick as you thought you would.
Everything happens so fast within the first few weeks of school. There’s not only going to be so many people and so many things, but there are going to be a lot of emotions. And not a lot of time to register those emotions. You’ll be occupied with finding friends and generally figuring you’re new life out you’ll barely have a breath to spare, much less a moment to register that you aren’t home. This might be a good thing at first, but don’t let those feelings carry on for too long; it’s healthy to miss home, and it’s healthy to acknowledge that. Call your parents, keep them up to date with what you’re doing, who you’re meeting, and whether you have an inkling of your sh*t together yet or not. They’ll be missing you for sure, so don’t leave them high and dry.
Your first week away from home is going to be hectic, it’s going to be boring at times and crazy at others. You’re going to feel really weird a lot, in more ways than one, but don’t let that discourage you at all. Because all of that really does vanish in a short amount of time. Once you get through the first week, you’re basically home free (literally). Enjoy it!
