8 Things Every Man Wants To Hear

8 Things Every Man Wants To Hear

5. Men want to hear that they are viewed as strong and capable
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Men are often known for putting up a front, one that paints them as tough and not needing anything. They don't generally want people to see their cracks and therefore, their vulnerability.

But if you regularly interact with men or have friendships with some guys, you may like to know there are some things that every guy wants to hear. These are things that will reassure, encourage and edify them.

Before writing this article, I contacted about 15 college aged men and asked them for their input on this. These were some of the results.

1. Men want to hear that they are attractive


Men like women. Because men are so visually-oriented, they can sometimes forget that women are not necessarily like that. While it is not uncommon for a guy to be drooling over a girl that he does not even know, but just finds beautiful. This, in the man's mind, can be painted onto the reverse as well, leaving him wondering if girls are thinking about him as often as he thinks about them.

Needless to say, to have a girl tell a man that he is attractive, not even in a romantic way, but even just a simple "You look handsome today," can truly make his day. I am sure guys could do the same more often for girls, as well.


2. Men want to hear they are inspirational

Men have an instinct in them to lead, to push people to greatness and to impact people in a way that they will not forget. As a Christian, there is little more encouraging than someone telling me that my faith has encouraged them. I know this principle applies to more than faith, though. Men want to be physically fit, so others will be inspired by them. Men want their handwork to motivate people. Artists want their work to give people goosebumps over its beauty and honesty. Men want to inspire.


3. Men want to hear your honesty

That whole laughable situation where the man is totally confused about why his girl just stormed away is actually based in reality. While this is no excuse for men to be ignorant and inattentive, there truly are some times where men are completely confused about the situation. Men generally don't want to play games. They want to know what is up so that they can deal appropriately. A guy wants you to be honest about how much fun you had hanging out with him today, not play hard to get or just patronize him. A good man will welcome constructive criticism as well.


4. Men want to hear that you notice when they try

Whether it is acknowledging a friend being intentional in his friendship, to him working really hard on some project he was working on, to him doing little things for you, men don't want to go unnoticed.


5. Men want to hear that they are viewed as strong and capable



There is not a more emasculating thing than having a girl need help with something but not ask because she thinks you cannot help. Anything from helping a girl carry her bag, open her bottle or walk her to her car can help the guy feel a little but more like that kind hero he wants to be. Men literally dream about situations where they can defeat the enemy and save the girl. Don't try to crush that heroic instinct!

6. Men want to hear that they are seen as honorable

Another way to say this is that men want to be seen as men of character. This may be slightly more specific to good men, but it remains true nonetheless. Men want to hear they are trustworthy. They want to hear they are a man of their word. They want to hear that they are considerate and good listeners. Don't let a good man go without knowing that he is doing well.

7. Men want to hear that you are loyal

Although this certainly applies to romantic situations, I feel like that is a bit obvious. What I am thinking of a bit more here is in the context of platonic friendships. They want to know you have their back. They want to know you've got them -- anything from backing them up in a fight, to not judging them when they cry in front of you. This applies to guys and girls alike -- if you have a guy friend that you care about, make sure they know you love them and are there for them.


8. As much as men want to hear that they are loved, their masculine instincts want to hear that they are respected

Men want to know that they are looked up to. They want to hear that they hold a good place in their community, that their peers see them in good standing. They want to know that in spite of any teasing, in spite of any silence, or in spite of any distance, the respect is there, and it is real, and not patronizing. This is probably the biggest and most agreed upon point. Men certainly want to know they are loved, but make sure he knows you truly respect him every once in a while.

This is a small list of ways to simply encourage men. If you want to do anything from improve your friendship to express interest well in a man, these ways can help you. These are from real guys, and you intentionality will (likely) not go unnoticed. Let them know when they're doing things right. And (kindly) let them know when they're not. Let them know they are respected.

This was a peek through the cracks in men's armor. Make good use of it. Love people well.

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​An Open Letter To The People Who Don’t Tip Their Servers

This one's for you.
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Dear Person Who Has No Idea How Much The 0 In The “Tip:" Line Matters,

I want to by asking you a simple question: Why?

Is it because you can't afford it? Is it because you are blind to the fact that the tip you leave is how the waiter/waitress serving you is making their living? Is it because you're just lazy and you “don't feel like it"?

Is it because you think that, while taking care of not only your table but at least three to five others, they took too long bringing you that side of ranch dressing? Or is it just because you're unaware that as a server these people make $2.85 an hour plus TIPS?

The average waiter/waitress is only supposed to be paid $2.13 an hour plus tips according to the U.S. Department of Labor.

That then leaves the waiter/waitress with a paycheck with the numbers **$0.00** and the words “Not a real paycheck." stamped on it. Therefore these men and women completely rely on the tips they make during the week to pay their bills.

So, with that being said, I have a few words for those of you who are ignorant enough to leave without leaving a few dollars in the “tip:" line.

Imagine if you go to work, the night starts off slow, then almost like a bomb went off the entire workplace is chaotic and you can't seem to find a minute to stop and breathe, let alone think about what to do next.

Imagine that you are helping a total of six different groups of people at one time, with each group containing two to 10 people.

Imagine that you are working your ass off to make sure that these customers have the best experience possible. Then you cash them out, you hand them a pen and a receipt, say “Thank you so much! It was a pleasure serving you, have a great day!"

Imagine you walk away to attempt to start one of the 17 other things you need to complete, watch as the group you just thanked leaves, and maybe even wave goodbye.

Imagine you are cleaning up the mess that they have so kindly left behind, you look down at the receipt and realize there's a sad face on the tip line of a $24.83 bill.

Imagine how devastated you feel knowing that you helped these people as much as you could just to have them throw water on the fire you need to complete the night.

Now, realize that whenever you decide not to tip your waitress, this is nine out of 10 times what they go through. I cannot stress enough how important it is for people to realize that this is someone's profession — whether they are a college student, a single mother working their second job of the day, a new dad who needs to pay off the loan he needed to take out to get a safer car for his child, your friend, your mom, your dad, your sister, your brother, you.

If you cannot afford to tip, do not come out to eat. If you cannot afford the three alcoholic drinks you gulped down, plus your food and a tip do not come out to eat.

If you cannot afford the $10 wings that become half-off on Tuesdays plus that water you asked for, do not come out to eat.

If you cannot see that the person in front of you is working their best to accommodate you, while trying to do the same for the other five tables around you, do not come out to eat. If you cannot realize that the man or woman in front of you is a real person, with their own personal lives and problems and that maybe these problems have led them to be the reason they are standing in front of you, then do not come out to eat.

As a server myself, it kills me to see the people around me being deprived of the money that they were supposed to earn. It kills me to see the three dollars you left on a $40 bill. It kills me that you cannot stand to put yourself in our shoes — as if you're better than us. I wonder if you realize that you single-handedly ruined part of our nights.

I wonder if maybe one day you will be in our shoes, and I hope to God no one treats you how you have treated us. But if they do, then maybe you'll realize how we felt when you left no tip after we gave you our time.

Cover Image Credit: Hailea Shallock

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Sansa Stark Doesn't Deserve The Hate She Gets

I can understand why she may have rubbed you the wrong way, she annoyed me too.

Alyson
Alyson
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(Warning, there's gonna be spoilers for the first seven seasons) "Game of Thrones" is a show that has many, many characters. So many that it can be hard for the average viewer to keep track of them all. Some we can't even remember their names, they just get referred to as "that guy who..." I'm pretty sure the only reason I can keep track of all the characters is that I watch Youtube channels that are dedicated to the show, do episode recaps and tell me who all the characters are.

Since there are so many characters "Game of Thrones" has someone that each one of us loves, hates, or feels indifferent about. Some characters are universally loved like Arya and Tyrion. Others I don't think anyone liked. Admit it, we were all cheering when Joffery and Ramsay were finally killed off.

Then there are characters that are either loved or hated by fans. Sansa Stark is such a character, and I want to take the time to show that she doesn't deserve the hate she gets from some fans.

Now if we're just going off season one Sansa, I can understand why she may have rubbed you the wrong way, she annoyed me too. But I think it's important to remember that she was 13. Most 13-year-old girls are shallow and annoying. I think most of us hated our 13-year-old selves. Sansa was also brought up to be a lady. She lived in a world where a woman's value was marrying into a respected family, and marrying into royalty was the highest you could marry in the social structure. So, of course, she's infatuated with Prince Joffery when she meets him.

After her father is executed, Sansa is held hostage in King's Landing and has to play the part of a good little lady that's loyal to Joffrey, otherwise, she'll be killed. Throughout season two she's physically and mentally abused primarily by Joffrey. Then in season three, she's forced to marry Tyrion, a member of the family that murdered hers (still the best husband she could get given the circumstances). Eventually, she does escape King's Landing, only to be forced to marry Ramsay Bolten, a complete evil psychopath, who abused and sexually assaulted her in her own home.

I think after all that Sansa deserves at least some of our sympathy.

Then came season six, where Sansa cemented herself as one of my all-time favorite characters. In season six Sansa reunited with her (supposed) brother Jon and they take back their home Winterfell from Ramsay, and she gets to deliver the killing blow to the guy that raped and tortured her.

In season seven she becomes the Lady of Winterfell and takes care of the North while Jon is (cough) busy with Daenerys trying to form an alliance. Sansa earns the respect of the northern lords so much that a few even question why they named Jon King in the North.

Throughout the season Littlefinger, the most selfish, creepy, manipulative bastard on the show, tried to drive a wedge between Sansa and her sister Arya so much that we were scared Sansa was going to execute Arya. But no, Sansa outsmarted Littlefinger and had him executed instead.

The reason more people should appreciate Sansa is that she's had one of the most fascinating arcs on the show. She went from spoiled brat, to victim, to survivor, to manipulator, to strong advisor, to savvy politician, to the Lady of Winterfell who ran the whole North and is one of the most valuable players in the game. We can learn from Sansa that anyone has the potential to change and grow for the better and that it's possible to overcome any trauma.

Keep in mind that a lot of characters who underestimated Sansa are now dead (I hope Cersei is next). That's something to keep in mind as the series comes to a close. I really hope she makes it. If I had to choose one character to save, it'd be her.

Alyson
Alyson

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