Spring semester at Penn State is a time we can all look forward to. There might not be football games to enjoy on Saturdays, but there's still plenty to do: hockey games, THON, State Patty's Day, Blue/White Weekend, Movin' On. But it's also the time of year that even freshmen start noticing the trends that develop in people here. You look close enough, you'll find a pattern that people start to fit in. There are people who walk too damn slow, the rich kids that all drive a Maserati or a Lamborghini, the people who go out of their way to argue with the Willard Preacher. Here are some starter packs for other groups of people here on campus you may have noticed. Know someone who fits the description pretty well in one of them? Go ahead and bust their chops with these then!
1.
"WHAT?! How can classes not be canceled today? This is, like, two and a half inches of snow. I've never even seen something like this back home in Florida."
2.
This young grasshopper has not yet learned the meaning of the word "fracket."
3.
"HEY. WHAT SCHOOL DO YOU GO TO?" "Penn State." "OH MY GOD, WE'RE AT PENN STATE RIGHT NOW. DO YOU KNOW WHERE BEAVER STREET IS?"
4.
Everyone has that one friend with a relative who's an old alum, throws the best tailgates, and always manages to get old-man wasted before you even go into the game.
5.
... Okay, so I may have gotten this starter pack.
6.
It might be only the first week back from spring break, but dammit, it's warm.
7.
"HEY. WHERE'S EAST HALL?" "You're standing in the middle of East Halls now. You're outside Sproul." "NO, I MEAN EAST HALL, LIKE THE BUILDING."
8.
They'll be here before we know it! Soon, I'll be graduated and gone... and they'll be the ones making the starter packs. Make me proud, Class of 2021.
