So you're heading off for college within the next month, and it's all very exciting. Moving to a new city, meeting new people, and gaining tons of weight is all on your horizon. But, what even is college? People have been preparing me for college my whole life, but I suddenly realize I have no idea what I got myself into.

1. You have no idea what syllabus week is

All I really know is that it's the first week of school and everyone likes it. I have no idea why, and I have no idea what a syllabus is. Is it fake school? WHY DIDN'T THEY TEACH ME THIS IN HIGH SCHOOL?

2. You don't have your dorm stuff

I have all the stuff I don't need, so if you need any illegal twinkling lights, you know where to find me (actually I hope you don't). But when it comes to comforters and toothpaste and eating utensils, I've got nothing. They sell all that stuff in the bookstore right?

3.You haven't done any of the work the college assigned you to do during the summer

Every year before this, I have had way more work to do than this summer, but I still can't get myself to open that summer reading book. I thought going to college meant no summer reading? Also, I don't need to take a drug and alcohol online class-thing that takes like 3 weeks. You said it takes 3 hours, but I can probably do it the night before class right?

4.You haven't even processed that fact that you're moving away

I haven't gotten emotional or sentimental about the move yet at all. College doesn't seem real. It's okay I will just deal with all my feelings the night before a big test sitting on my dorm bed alone eating Ben and Jerrys.

5. You have no idea where/ what your classes are

Why would they decide that giving a freshman a schedule with weird abbreviations where we don't know what the letters stand for will help us? Even if the location was fully spelled out I wouldn't know where that building is. Also, I don't even know what my classes are, like what is Geology? We learn about rocks? I like rocks.

6.You've never had ramen

Okay, this looks very nasty, these weird noodles floating in "shrimp" flavored water. I think I'm going to pass. It's fine I'll just starve.

7. You don't have any of your school supplies

What kind of supplies do you even need in college? Is it a three ring binder kind of place or a spiral notebook place? Do you need a backpack in college or WAIT YOU DON'T HAVE A LOCKER I'M SO CONFUSED.

8. You haven't contacted your roommate yet

I'll just meet her on move in day, there is only like an 80% chance that she is crazy. I like my odds.