If you're anything like me, you often find yourself comparing your accomplishments to those of others, and sometimes feeling like yours just don't quite measure up. As we head into a new year and a new semester, it's the perfect time to remind yourself that while some mild, friendly competition can be a positive thing, it's also important not to get caught up in what can be a vicious, cutthroat cycle.
1. Your worth is not determined by the number of groups or organizations you're a member of or how involved you are.
Let me say it again for the people in the back: you are more than the number of extra curricular activities you participate in, the number of officer or leadership positions you hold, or the number of accomplishments on your resume.
2. It's OK to say no.
You might feel like you have to agree to each offer to join a new committee, club, group, or task, but let me introduce to you a two-letter word that changes the whole game: "no." If you don't have time, don't feel well enough equipped, or simply don't want to do something, just say no.
3. Instead of feeling like you have to out-do others, recognize and celebrate their accomplishments with them.
I've learned that jealousy really will get you nowhere. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. You'll find joy in congratulating your friends and peers on their achievements.
4. Embrace competition within yourself.
Sometimes, the healthiest competition takes place between past and present you. If you've tried before with something you feel you could do better at, try again and shoot for a new personal best -- it's the only way you'll grow.
5. It's easy to get down on yourself for not being good enough. When necessary, don't be afraid to remind yourself of the things you do well.
When you feel like you're constantly competing with those around you, society as a whole, or yourself, allow yourself some introspection to remind you of some of your talents or achievements. You might not have done as well on that biology test as you thought you would, or as your lab partner did, but you crushed the last exam and you're acing English. For every piece of you that you feel is lacking, there are a million pieces that add up to some of your best qualities or accomplishments.
6. Surround yourself with people who encourage you and lift you up.
Major key, guys. If you are already hard enough on yourself, it's important to be around people whose presence counteracts those critical tendencies. That's not to say you need to anchor your value in someone else's opinion of you, or that you need another person to remind you that you're doing okay in life. But it definitely doesn't hurt to have a solid support system behind you when you're feeling a bit less confident than you could.
7. As simple as it sounds, accept that not everything is a competition.
Living like each task you take on, big or small, is a race of who did it better can and will get exhausting.
8. Allow yourself the time you need to relax and reevaluate.
If you feel like you're wound too tight, know that you're not weak because you need some me time. You're allowed to have a night to yourself, free of group meetings, resume builders, or obligations. And if you find yourself over-scheduled, don't be afraid to sit down with pros and cons lists of the activities that consume your hours. Time is precious, and it should be spent doing things you genuinely, passionately care about.
