1.When Netflix asks you if you’re still watching, you’ll take that as a hint that it’s time to do something else. 

Let’s be real, you are only 5 episodes away from finishing Parks and Rec, so you will stop after that. Maybe. 

2. You won’t send drunk text messages after 10 p.m. 

Your mind is telling you no, but the whiskey is telling you yes.  

3. You won’t spend all your Dining Dollars before January is over.  

Ha ha ha HA. With all that “free” Starbucks, pizza and Buffalo Phil’s, that $300 will quickly become $0.   

4. You will work out and eat healthier. 

Netflix > Gym. Donuts > Salad. Beer > Water. It’s basic math.   

5. You will spend your (parents') money more wisely. 

But shoes exist. And bar tabs. And Chipotle.  

6. You will stop procrastinating and do your school work ahead of time.

Studying is not as easy as the Elle Woods-Legally Blonde montage makes it look. Plus, Netflix exists. Refer to number one. 

7. You will start waking up earlier and putting effort into what you look like for class. 

Nope. Five extra minutes of sleep is always worth the risk of running into an ex on the quad and looking homeless.

8. You will spend less time on social media and more time having actual face-to-face contact with people.

Yeah, you're still gonna text your roommate who's sitting ten feet away from you and spend half of dinner Snapchatting pictures of your food. 

 Happy New Year!