As the year gets under way, and syllabus week gets farther into the rear view mirror, it's easy to fall into a grind and just become another zombie, on America's college campuses. To keep this from happening, you may need to shake things up a bit. Here's just a few ways to keep yourself, and everyone else around you on their toes.
1. Dress Classy
This is't limited to wearing a button down, and maybe a tie. You need to go all out. I'm talking tuxedo like you're expecting an Oscar. Heck, take a page out of the Monopoly man's book and get yourself a monocle and cane. Don't just dress classy. Dress 19th Century Industrialist Classy.
2. Don't walk to Class
Let the plebeians walk to class. You need to make a statement with your mode of transportation. Whether this means Heelies, a Hoverboard, or paying four of your friends to carry you across campus in a gilded throne, the options are endless.
3. Make yourself some home cooked Meals
You may ask how you're supposed to make meals in class. Get yourself either a George Foreman Grill or a small toaster oven and have yourself a steak or a rotisserie chicken.
4. Do Your Work Early
Don't just hand in your assignments promptly, hand them in before their even assigned. Nothing let's a professor know whose in charge like you handing in your final paper at the beginning of the second class of the semester. Speaking of Professor interactions...
5. Invite the Professor to YOUR Office Hours
Every good professor knows that the best way to assert your dominance is to have the students come to their office for help. So I think it's time to turn the tables on them. The trick is to have some information that they don't. That's why I always read up on an absurd amount of NFL statistics.
6. Use Big Words in Class Discussions
They can be no less than three syllables. If you don't know what the words your using even mean, don't worry, neither does anyone else. Except for that one kid. If the one kid who realizes you just looked at a thesaurus and really have no idea what you're talking about calls you out, just speak in bland euphemisms. That will get you out of most situations.
7. To All the Freshmen, Make Sure Everyone Can See your Lanyard
In the first few weeks, all of the Freshmen wore their lanyards. But as time has gone on, most have hung up their abnormally long keychains and blended with the rest of the population. But to you, the freshman who wants to stand out, make sure your lanyard continues to hang proudly from your pocket. I promise it will always be cool.
