It’s the season of giving, and nothing emulates the Christmas spirit more than exchanging gifts with people who would never allow Mary and Joseph into Bethlehem. That’s right, have you picked out the perfect holiday present for the Neo-Nazi in your life? (Well, I suppose I shouldn't say 'holiday', it's not like they're big Hanukkah or Kwanza fans...). It’s already been a pretty great year for them, so it’s important to get them something that truly reflects the year Neo-Nazis stepped out of the shadows and resumed overtly instigating hatred and terror.
1. Tattoo Voucher
If you really want to go the extra mile, include some cover-up makeup. Lots of people sympathize with the modern incarnation of Hitler’s regime but are too afraid that they’ll face discrimination if they voice their opinions. Save them from that burden by allowing them to cover up swastika tattoos during job interviews and such.
2. White Robe
If you’re on a budget, don’t bother buying one with a hood. Fewer and fewer people are worried about the backlash of being directly connected with the Ku Klux Klan as xenophobia becomes more socially acceptable.
3. Wooden Cross/Matches
It’s like ding-dong-ditch, but with overt racism.
4. Make America Great Again Hat
Note: This is not a random person in a Trump hat, this is the publisher of a White Supremacist website
I’m not saying that all Trump supporters are Nazis. I’m saying that longing for the ‘good old days’ of America means longing for a time where racial and ethnic minorities, women, queer people, children, poor people, and basically everyone who wasn’t rich, white, straight, old, AND male had fewer rights. That's all!
5. Aluminum Foil
Tin hats make it easier to believe and accept Fox News, and even perhaps the National Enquirer whenever they ‘report’ on Hillary or Obama.
6. College Semester including Introductory Courses in Sociology, American History, Biology, Statistics, Critical Reasoning, etc.
Recognize that hatred often stems from ignorance. Help guide and support your family and friends, and provide explanations for your beliefs. Show them that race is a social construct created by the Europeans and the biology that backs that up. Guide them through the history of America, and try to have them imagine the horror of being an American locked up in an internment camp because the country you were born in is warring with the country of your ancestors. Encourage them not to trust you or anyone else blindly, but rather to explore for themselves and learn what information is trustworthy and what isn’t. Take the burden of educating off of the marginalized groups and be a true ally to all the disadvantaged.
Heck, at least have them browse this WikiHow on how not to be racist.
7. Mein Kampf
If all else fails, at least let them learn fascist rhetoric from the best!
