Ah, to be young and carefree. The blissful days of college and pre-professional life will unfortunately be over before you know it. For the rest of life, some strategies are required to navigate the stormy waters of turning into a human relic of the past.
1. Avoid trendy clothing at all costs
Be wise and stick with the functional, those that have stood the test of time, despite whatever newfangled accessories kids these days are sporting. The stylish trend of today quickly becomes the laughingstock of tomorrow.
2. Stay away from using catchphrases from the glory days of your youth.
Trust me, using 'On fleek' is not going to go over well in 20 years. (I still haven't the faintest idea what this means. Someone please enlighten me.)
3. Keep the technological part of your brain engaged.
It's quite the respectable milestone to become "that grandparent" who can actually figure out how to use Skype correctly.
4. Keep a casual tab on contemporary pop culture.
No matter how horrifyingly terrible the quality is compared to the music and movies from back in your day.
5. Never call any products by a brand name.
How often have you heard a parent or grandparent invoke a long-extinct product as a general term for an item? Such as: "Can you photostat this paper for me?" and the dreaded "Pass me a Kleenex, please."
6. Don't go bowling after the age of 18.
7. The Kids Are Alright.
Think twice before giving that speech about the moral degradation of today's society. People have been playing this card for a while. In fact, Socrates had similar thoughts about the youth of his day:
"The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers."
8. You Can Do Without the Mid-life Drama.
Chances are, if you have a sudden desire at some point down the road to buy a sports car, and a creeping sense that your life hasn't turned out as planned, you've got yourself a mid-life crisis! The much preferred option is to get this stage over with as a young adult. You know, that time when you should be deciding what you want to do with your life that will give it the most meaning.
