Disclaimer 1: this will contain a lot of satirical opinions about fast-food chains and characters from The Office.
Disclaimer 2: I consider certain pizza places fast-food.

1. Kevin Malone, played by Burger King

I don't think this one is up for debate. While the King may have chicken fries, literally nothing else they've done has stood out. But they're trying, they really are.

2. Meredith Palmer, played by Captain D's

What to say about this combination. If Waffle House had a drive-thru, it would be playing Meredith. However, the seafood equivalent would have to be Captain D's. Something about fast food seafood just screams Meredith.

3. Creed Bratton, played by Taco Bell

Creed, much like any Taco Bell, is an enigma. Somehow, Taco Bell manages to sustain the life of every college student as cheaply as possible. They may have gotten in trouble for using horse meat, and they may have gotten in trouble for using all the cow, but that's in the past. Now they're doing fries. What madmen and madwomen.

4. Toby Flenderson, played by Subway

Another painfully accurate comparison. I don't know a single person in my circle that likes Subway. At most, someone will say it's "okay." Subway is the food equivalent of an "amorphous blob of khaki." Plus they lied about the lengths of their footlongs, and that's not cool.

5. Stanley Hudson, played by Bojangle's

Stanley doesn't give an F- about nothing, and neither does Bojangle's. Oh, you ordered a chicken leg and you got a ham biscuit? Sorry. Oh, you ordered a steak biscuit and the top biscuit was a Bo-Berry biscuit? That's nice. You said that Popeye's is better? Well, you can shove it up your butt.

6. Pam Beesly, played by Domino's

Reliable pizza at a decent price, a perfect chain to play the role of Pam. Domino's may not have the famous stuffed crust pizza or complimentary garlic sauce, but there's something wholesome about it.

7. Jim Halpert, played by Cook Out

Cook Out is for the late night escapades when everything else is closed. Cook Out is for the person with only $6 to their name. Cook Out is for the person who deserves to treat themselves with greasy, good food. Jim Halpert is a precious gift that should not be squandered. Stay thankful.

8. Michael Scott, played by McDonald's

McDonald's, the father of fast food. Michael Scott, the father of Scranton-area paper supply. Other fast food chains follow in the footsteps of McDonald's while simultaneously mocking the very thing that made them what they are. If anyone is deserving of this title, it is Michael Scott, founder of Scott's Tots.