Surprises are great in a relationship. They keep things interesting. For example, when your partner says, "Surprise! There's a warrant out for my arrest," or "My crazy ex sent me a death threat and drained my bank account," or "I wake up at 5 am... every morning. "
It seems like every time I get into a relationship, I find out something about my partner that, had I known otherwise, would have likely stopped me from wanting to get into a relationship with them in the first place. For example, one time I was in a relationship and I ate a pickle in front of my partner. He told me he wouldn't kiss me because he hates pickles. So yeah, that was a huge waste of time. But don't let this example fool you, some surprises have been far worse.
With that being said, I used my failed relationships as inspiration to come up with these 77 questions you will want to ask any potential partner to know what you're getting yourself into:
1. What are you looking for in terms of a relationship?
2. What do you want out of a relationship?
3. Do you want a monogamous relationship?
4. What Is most important to you in a relationship?
5. What do you think makes a relationship successful?
6. What are your strengths and weaknesses in a relationship?
7. What do you look for in a partner?
8. What things are non-negotiable for you when dating?
9. How long did your longest relationship last?
10. Do you have any "crazy exes"?
11. Are any of your exes still involved in your life?
12. Do you have any children?
13. Are you emotionally available?
14. Are you dealing with any unresolved emotional trauma (like attachment, separation, or trust issues)?
15. Are you mentally stable?
16. What do you think are your best qualities?
17. What's something about yourself that you're working on?
18. Do you have any bad habits?
19. Do you have any "toxic traits"?
20. How would you or someone that knows you describe your personality?
21. What are your pet peeves?
22. What gets you angry?
23. Do you have any triggers?
24. Do you get road rage?
25. Do you get jealous?
26. Are you good at communicating?
27. What are your love languages?
28 What's your relationship like with your family?
29. Are your parents still together?
30. Did you ever have a positive role model for having a healthy relationship?
31. Do you ever want children?
32. Where do you want to live in the future?
33. What is your ideal vacation?
34. What's your ideal job?
35. Do you currently have a job?
36. Are you financially responsible?
37. Do you go to school/what do you study?
38. What kind of lifestyle do you live (healthy, fit, lazy)?
39. What is your living situation like?
40. Do you have a criminal record?
41. Do you have any addictions?
42. Are a morning person or night owl?
43. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
44. What interests you?
45. Do you have any hobbies?
46. What do you do when you have free time?
47. What do you enjoy learning about?
48. What's your favorite sport?
49. What are your favorite sports teams?
50. What are your favorite ways to entertain yourself?
51. When is your birthday?
52. What are your religious and political beliefs?
53. What's something most people don't know about you?
54. What possessions are most important to you?
55. What people are most important to you?
56. What are your greatest fears?
57. What are your insecurities?
58. What music genres do you listen to? Are there any you won't listen to?
59. What are your favorite TV shows?
60. What are your favorite movie genres?
61. What are your favorite books?
62. What is your favorite restaurant?
63. What's your favorite food?
64. Favorite condiment?
65. Are you a picky eater?
66. Do you have any allergies?
67. Do you have any dietary restrictions?
68. What's your alcoholic drink of choice?
69. Do you like sweets?
70. What's your favorite dessert?
71. What's your favorite holiday?
72. What are your simple pleasures?
73. What are your guilty pleasures?
74. Are you a homebody or do you enjoy going out?
75. Do prefer nature or the city?
76. Do you spend a lot of time on your phone?
77. What do you want out of life?
Obviously, this list isn't a script to follow on your first date, or a conclusive factor in determining whether or not a potential relationship will work out.
However, it cannot hurt to be thorough when getting to know someone, and these questions may help eliminate any devastating surprises later down the line.