Disclaimer: The views expressed in this article are not representative of the author's personal opinion, and she does not take responsibility for any consequences that following this advice entails.

1. Make sure your parents bombard your new roommate with the nosiest, rudest, creepiest, and most personal questions possible -- all within the first 10 minutes of meeting them.

2. Who needs a trashcan when you can just throw your used candy wrappers onto your roommate's side of the room? (Bed gets extra points.)

3. Polite, direct confrontation is totally overrated and boring. Why say what you mean when you can be passive aggressive? Sticky note on the sink that says "hmmm these dishes are kinda dirty...O:-)". Gold.

4. So your roommate confided in you that they have a huge calculus midterm tomorrow and they are going to be up all night studying. This is the perfect opportunity to throw that all-night rager in your room that you've been fantasizing about for weeks! A special sticker if the music starts to rock the floorboards. And if they ask you to turn it down:

5. You can hear your roommate on the phone in a huge fight with their significant other. This is the perfect time to call your own boyfriend or girlfriend (or your cat) and have a super lovey-dovey, sugary conversation, complete with the whole "you hang up first," "no YOU hang up first" fiasco! The more pet names the better. Marriage proposals are ideal.

6. Ugh, it's 2 a.m. and you just got back from the library. You totally forgot to eat dinner and you're starving. Oh, and your roommate is sound asleep. They wouldn't really mind if you binged on all of their food. Nah, that's totally cool.

7. See all that stuff on your roommate's side of the room? The second they leave the room, rummage through it and don't be scared to throw a few items out the window. Underwear? Who needs that?

Mischief Managed !