Laziness is a virtue and possibly the most important one at that. It is not only a skill but an art form to be able to live a normal life while also being as lazy as humanly possible. What is important is making sure that no one notices because they will most likely call you out and try to get you to do something productive, and that's absolutely unacceptable. For newly lazy people, here are some tips to being a professional lazy person:
1. Constantly pretend that the documentary you are watching is for a class or a research project.
That way your endless Netflix watching seems like an important task that cannot be disturbed or stopped.
2. Wear work out clothes so that it seems like you are always about to or have just come from the gym.
You never actually have to work out, but the attire will convince people that you are always about to be really cool and fit.
3. Wear the same four shirts all the time so that laundry is nonexistent.
It might be sort of unsanitary, but laziness over cleanliness, people. If you are one of the lucky few who can just buy clothes whenever you want, you could just make sure to buy enough clothes so that laundry is a once month sort of deal, but we aren't all in that boat.
4. Invite people to your house.
It will seem like you are incredibly social and into planning gatherings. Although, the truth of course is the opposite because when you are inviting people over you get to stay in the comfort of your own home and cross your fingers hoping people offer to bring food because you are hosting and they want to contribute.
5. Practice making very serious facial expressions.
That way even if you are staring off into space doing absolutely nothing, it will seem like you are thinking about incredibly deep things that will change the world.
6. Always make too much food and eat leftovers for as long as you can.
This is the ultimate lazy person tip because it covers so many different issues. For one, you will not have to do any dishes because you can eat out of a tupperware. Secondly you only have to cook like once a week that way. And, most importantly, you seem like a penny pincher and smart saver because you only use, like, five ingredients for your food.
7. Never talk about being lazy in front of people.
If you tell people you are lazy, they will notice it. It's like when you meet someone new and then you start seeing them everywhere. Once you tell people you are lazy, they will notice your laziness in everything that you do.
With finals about a month away, this time of year is prime lazy days and its' important to do it right. Make the best of your laziness because one day you'll need a job and all laziness goes out the window.
