Let’s face it; being a girl sucks. We always have to look pretty and put together, wear nice clothes, and have our hair and makeup done. Everyone expects us to be less than 130 pounds, and we all know that’s hard to do when ice cream is always on our minds. We have wild and crazy mood swings and we have to always be polite and kind. But in all honesty, the majority of girls don’t act like this. Us girls basically fail at being the human species that we are suppose to be. We are girls, but we don’t necessarily act like girls all the time. So here is a list of 7 times I have failed at being a girl!
1. I just learned how to use makeup correctly
Believe it or not, I just learned how to put on makeup the correct way. Or at least I think it is correct… I just learned how to fill in my eyebrows, which is a game changer. Because of this handy trick, my eyebrows are defined and can be seen by the vast majority of the public, rather than looking like I have non-existent eyebrows. People can actually tell when I am surprised now! I have yet to master the art of contouring, but I am quickly learning. I was also just taught how to use under-eye concealer. Note to self: apparently you are not suppose to rub in under-eye concealer with your finger, but instead use a brush. Really, who knew? So maybe I haven’t exactly mastered how to use makeup, but I am on my way to becoming Kim Kardashian’s makeup artist.
2. I had never seen The Notebook until this year
Make fun of me, do whatever you want, but this fact is true. I had never seen the infamous romantic movie, The Notebook. This is the ultimate girl movie. What can you not like about a romance between Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams? Set in the 50’s, Noah falls for a girl way out of his league, Allie. It is an epic romance that lasts for decades to come. Let’s just say I cried one of the ugliest cries I have ever cried during the ending of this movie. 10/10 would recommend.
3. I didn't wash my hair for an entire week
Maybe this is a little exaggerated, but I have gone many a days without washing my hair. Many girls do this and I am not the only one. Girls go four or five days without washing their hair and they still look beautiful as ever. Me on the other hand, I look like Draco Malfoy when I go days without washing my hair. It is not a pleasant sight, but sometimes you just don’t have any time in the busy day to wash your hair. I hide my Harry Potter alter ego behind the magical invisibility cloak called a baseball hat and go about my merry way.
4. I consume more food than the average 14-year-old boy
Many people would not be proud of the fact that they can out eat a growing teenage boy, but I am very proud this. I can down an entire pizza and still have room for a Wendy’s Frosty. If I were in an eating competition with the world record holder for the most hotdogs ever eaten, I would probably win. I don’t want to brag, but I just love to eat. Many people have a special place in their heart for their children or their dog, but I have a special place in my heart for food. I don’t discriminate when it comes to food. It may not be the most lady-like thing, but sometimes I get food on my shirt. And sometimes I get food all over the table. And sometimes I even get food in my hair. I have manners, but my excuse is that I missed the cotillion on how to eat food properly.
5. I buy 50 percent of my wardrobe from the men's section
This is a real thing. Girls buy A LOT of their wardrobe from the men’s section of clothing stores. Have you ever seen those super cute flannels that all of the girls are walking around wearing? Well I’ll let you in on the secret: These flannels are from the men’s section of Target, Wal-Mart, or wherever you do your shopping. We shop in the men’s section for comfy shirts, such as Henley’s. It’s not that we don’t want to shop in the women’s section, it’s just that the men’s section has more of the comfy casual clothes that we can wear on a daily basis without having to wear shorts and a t-shirt everyday. And let’s face it, so much of the clothing styles that women have now has come directly from the styles of men.
6. No Shave November is not just for men
This one is kind of gross, but you won’t believe how many girls participate in not shaving their legs during No Shave November. Don’t Stop December, Jan-u-hairy, Febr-u-hairy, Might Shave March, need I stop there? Truth be told, sometimes I go a month or so without shaving my legs. But only in the winter when I am wearing pants, leggings, and jeans 24/7! Shaving your legs is such a hassle and I would like to write a strongly worded letter to the person who said that girls must shave their legs. Also, cutting yourself while shaving is one of the most painful things a girl has to go through other than bearing a large baby inside of you for 9 months and then pushing the giant animal out of your body. Slicing the skin on your anklebone is unbearably painful and looks as though you might just bleed out. Slashing open your Achilles Tendon is the second most painful part of your body to cut while shaving. Not only does it feel like you may never walk again, it also look like a murder scene in your bathroom. 12/10 would not recommend.
7. I'm not exactly a feminist
Feminists are awesome people, but I can’t really say that I am a die-hard feminist. Women are strong independent people and so am I! But I also want to get married, pop out a few kids, and live a long and happy life with my husband who will support me. I love to be independent, but I don’t necessarily want to do it all on my own. I want to be able to rely on a man to help me out here and there. Is that so wrong? I also don’t really like cooking, nor am I very good at it. I can make mac and cheese from the box, but that is the extent of my cooking skills. So, someone please sign me up for some cooking lessons, because the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach!
