1. Where the heck am I?

"If I pass one more building with the name Danforth on it, I'm gonna scream"

2. Is getting up for my 8 am worth it?

"Is there going to be a quiz?

Will the professor notice if I don't show up?"

If the answer to either of those questions is no, chances are you're going back to sleep.

3. Is 5 meals a day overdoing it?

"Absolutely not. A half-and-half is just as acceptable at 3 am as it is at noon. And who could say no to stir-fry?"

4. Do I know this girl well enough to say hello?

"I think we have Calc together. Is it Jessica? Jenny? Wait, that's not right. Oh crap she's almost past me. Just smile and wave. Always smile and wave."

5. Do I have to take everything someone tries to hand me at the underpass?

"No. But they do make it kinda hard when they ask if you care about saving the children. Of course I do, but I'm hella late for class."

6. What is that smell?

"No one knows. Is it that tree? Is it the guy next to me? Is it me?

It's just college man, go with the flow."

7. I can make it through another week without doing laundry, right?

"Probably not. I'm out of underwear... and socks. Oh well, I guess I can just turn them inside out."