Forget the Roxanne Wars, this is the tale of the two Roseannes. Don't get it twisted. Roseanne Barr is not her character. The Roseanne Conner we all grew to know and love was the working-class hero of "Roseanne." She was witty, relatable and bold, but with a heart of gold. Then there's the other Roseanne. The Roseanne on Twitter is a raving conspiracy theorist, racist and, for lack of a better word, an asshole.

Recently the "Roseanne" reboot was snatched off the air by ABC President Channing Dungey after Roseanne Barr compared former Obama Administration adviser, Valerie Jarrett, to an ape. And yes, in 2018, white people are still pretending that comparing Black people to primates isn't racist, but instead just a bad joke. Dungey's statement, "Roseanne's Twitter statement is abhorrent, repugnant and inconsistent with our values, and we have decided to cancel her show," was tweeted last Tuesday by Disney CEO, Robert Iger.

But the thing is, I really couldn't give a shit about the whole ordeal and this is why.

1. The original was better!

Although original headlines about the "Roseanne" reboot reported that its main character would be a Trump supporter, many of us assumed the writers and producers, including Wanda Sykes, had come up with a humorous and relatable way to present a family with differing political views. We were wrong. What transpired was actually corny, annoying af and pissed all over the original show we all loved.

2. She's been anti-Semitic since forever... and we all knew this.

As if posing for a photo shoot dressed as Adolf Hitler pulling Jewish people out of an oven wasn't enough to cancel the bitch, in 2013 she the promoted a concert by a Holocaust-denying musician and the defended him while calling her detractors "fucking morons:"

3. She an Islamaphobe...and we all knew this, too.

In 2016 (after finding out about her own Jewish roots, naturally) she referred to Hillary Clinton's adviser, Huma Abedin (who happens to be of Indian decent...by the way ), as a "filthy Nazi whore."

4. She ACTUALLY disgraced the National Anthem.

In 1990 Barr was invited to sing the National Anthem at a Padres game. For whatever reason, she thought it would be cool to purposefully sing the song like a dying hunchback moose-turtle. It was so bad that then-President George H.W. Bush called her performance “disgraceful,” and the incident almost ruined her career.

5. She believes...and tweets...EVERY conspiracy theory she sees.

Like stating that Chelsea Clinton was actually married to the nephew of George Soaos who she accused of being a Nazi. False.

Or how back in November she became a key player in one of her favorite theories: a 4Chan-based conspiracy called QAnon that alleges satanism and sex-trafficking by the Democratic party. False.

Oh, and then there's the thing where Barr believes the government is operating a mind control experiment—MK Ultra, (which was a real CIA experiment conducted in the 1960s)—on Hollywood actors, producers and filmmakers to make them hate Trump and Republicans. False.

6. We already knew she thought of Black people as subhuman.

In 2013, Barr called former National Security Advisor Susan Rice a “big man with swinging ape balls” in a since-deleted tweet.

So her recent comments on Valerie Jarrett really doesn't come as a shock.

7. Ambien Doesn't Cause Racism.

After her 1,000,000th fake apology, Barr blamed her racist comments on the fact that she was taking Ambien at the time. Well, Sanofi, the maker of Ambien, was not amused and was quick to shut her ass down.

Ashleigh Koss, head of media relations at Sanofi, had this to say: “People of all races, religions and nationalities work at Sanofi every day to improve the lives of people around the world. While all pharmaceutical treatments have side effects, racism is not a known side effect of any Sanofi medication.”

8. A show promoting Trump should have never been allowed to air.

With today's political climate, a network show that's main storyline revolves around a character who is pro-Trump is bold ass hell. The Cheeto-in-Chief is literally separating children from their mothers' arms. He's an (alleged) rapist and philanderer, a racist and a tyrant. How they planned to turn that into a 30-minute belly roll sitcom was beyond me. But they came, they tried and they failed, chile.


I don't know about y'all, but I think if they can give Roseanne Barr nine episodes to promote Trump's racist agenda, they can air the previously shelved "Black-ish" episode that promotes Colin Kaepernick using his freedom of speech and right to protest to call for criminal justice reform.