It is ok to be shy. I like that I am, but I did not want to feel like I am just “the shy girl" anymore. Attempting to overcome my shyness has taught me a few things.
1. Shyness does not just disappear
When I realized that I was not going to stay at home for college like everyone expected me to, I became convinced that moving to a new city was my chance to break out of my shell. However, while I have grown as a person, I am without a doubt still a shy person. It is a part of me, and it is not a part that is going to completely disappear anytime soon - maybe not ever.
2. Giving presentations in class still sucks
I think everyone can relate to this one regardless of whether or not you consider yourself a shy person. Being told that your final consists of a presentation that will be given in front of a 200 student lecture is not anyone's idea of fun. That being said, such experiences have taught me that I am capable of not only facing frightening things but also excelling at them.
3. Sometimes, raising your hand is still a challenge
You do not want everyone to look at you, and professors that have rules like "each person must contribute three thoughtful comments to the discussion” are the WORST.
4. College forces you to stretch your comfort zone
If you're not uncomfortable you're not growing, right? While I still wear the metaphorical “shy badge,” I have managed to stretch my comfort zone a great deal through embracing new activities and new groups of people. Yes, entering a new community when you don’t know anyone is beyond frightening. It may even take multiple days just to build up the courage to do so.
However, if I had never taken the chance and thrown myself into a new community, I would not be the person I am today. The people I now consider my best friends have taught me more about who I am and who I want to be than I could have ever figured out on my own. Throwing myself into the initial discomfort of it all was completely worth it.
5. Faking it can work
Faking it is really hard. Trust me. But the great thing about college, especially your first year, is that no one knows how shy you really are. I found it so much easier to be a little more outgoing around people who didn’t automatically expect me to be "the quiet one." I faked it, and it became easier.
6. Growth is inevitable
Lots of people do not even realize how shy I truly am. Unlike high school, you do not get stuck as "the shy one.” As you start to explore new things it becomes more difficult for others to see the shyness within you. Who knows, maybe this means it is not there anymore.
7. Being shy will continue to be a (small) part of you
Maybe you won't always think of yourself as being a shy person, but you shouldn’t be upset if you do not manage to do a complete 180. I certainly did not. Not everyone is capable of being the loud, center of attention-grabbing, spotlight-basking person. As long as you are not letting shyness stand in the way of finding passions and achieving goals, then there is nothing to worry about.
Do not let shyness define you in your entirety. If that is the case, you are robbing your self of the opportunity to grow.
I know that being shy is still a part of me that I have not completely conquered, but I am proud of myself for finding and embracing little ways to grow. It doesn’t happen all at once, but it can happen.
