As a black coffee lover, I’m usually questioned on my drink of choice. Whether it’s my friends, my mom or even the person serving the coffee, I never fail to get either a question or a questionable look each time I place my order for an iced coffee, black. Maybe it’s because I still look like a middle school child or it might be because black coffee isn’t the most popular drink. Whatever it may be, here are seven things I’ve been asked or told too many times to count as I sip on my blacker than black coffee.

1. “Do you really drink your coffee black?”

Yes, I really do drink my coffee black… that’s probably why I asked for exactly that.

2. “Do you even like the taste of that stuff?”

No, actually I ordered it because I hate the taste of it. That makes sense, right?

3. “So I’m guessing you like all types of bitter things.”

Ohhhhh yes, because my coffee order reveals all my food preferences.

4. “Are you sure you don’t want any cream or sugar?”

… want to ask me one more time?

5. “Are you just trying to be healthy?”

Yeah, an all black coffee diet.

6. “How long did it take you to get used to drinking it black?”

Exactly 4 years, 3 months, 27 days to the dot.

7. “You drink your coffee black? That says a LOT about you.”

No I’m not a psychopath, sociopath or serial killer, I truly don’t care about whatever recent study linking me to those things you read on the Internet… maybe because everything on the Internet isn’t actually true!

Please… just give me my coffee and leave.