People often comment on just how pale I am...as if I hadn’t already noticed. From nude undergarments, foundation and even being used as a reflective surface, my paleness has created major problems in my life. On second thought, maybe I should stop being dramatic and call them annoyances. My mom often jokes that I should find someone with major color, otherwise my children may end up basically invisible. So, here’s to hoping for a tall, dark and handsome spouse, and here’s to the struggles the pale girls of the world face.
1. Foundation
Have you ever gone to the store to get foundation only to find it too orange, too tan, not pale white enough for you? Welcome to the pale girls' club. I am not olive, I am not tan, I am not even nude. I have no pink undertone, I am paper white. Now please, even shade levels 0 and 1 are too tan for me, so help a girl out.
2. Nude Undergarments
I bought new nude bras and I ordered two different shades because I was unsure which one would be more nude on my skin. Well, one just looks like a pastel pink and the other is the color I'd be if I were to get a nice spray tan. Next time, I will just get white.
3. “Wow, you are really pale”
Yeah, thanks. Never noticed. This is new skin, I am not typically this shade. *eye roll* It is the middle of winter in Minnesota; what do you want me to do about it? I am sorry my genetics wanted me to survive the winter by giving me skin to camouflage myself in the snow.
4. Being Reflective
I once sat down on the softball field in shorts and caught a glare off of my shins, reflecting the sun straight into my eyes. At that point in time, I had a full realization of just how pale I was. It is that bad, people...it is that bad.
5. Sunburns
The clouds burn me, too. I walked around California on a cloudy day at the beach and received a wonderful burn. And, for those of you who play outdoor sports, forget about it. Some procure nice tans from a softball game or a soccer match; I got the jersey outline scorched onto my torso in bright red.
6. Flush skin
Whether I'm playing sports or working out, I literally look like I may be dying or having severe trouble because my skin gets so red so fast. I have no idea why my body hates me, but I once had my new soccer coach remove me from our first game after five minutes due to his growing concern as to whether I was physically okay. I was...and I told him that I would let him know if I was ever tired and that I most likely was just fine. My skin just gets very red, very fast.
7. Cold
It’s cold outside and your skin is cracking; you have no fear, though. No one can tell your pasty face is peeling because you are white as snow, along with the winter wonderland that surrounds you. As for your lanky legs, no one can see the dry patches. Sometimes being pale isn’t so bad.
8. Sunscreen
Sunscreen is a pale girl's best friend regardless of how long it takes you to realize that. I don't care if your friends don't put it on, you have to. Pay for it tomorrow or even later in the future. Get over your fear of asking your friends to take a minute to apply it to your bright white back. You'll thank me later.
