It doesn't matter where you are. They are watching. They detect your vulnerability from your kind face and carefree disposition. We have all fallen victim to awkward social situations from which we cannot escape. The attention is unwarranted, the abuse; unbearable, the price...total.
If you've never experienced this before then you should probably watch this hilarious video of awkward conversations with strangers.
Now that we're on the same page, let's get started:
1. The Encounter
As you innocently scan your surroundings, you suddenly make eye contact. You try to break away but it's like a car wreck you can't look away from. They use this eye contact as an excuse to close the distance between the two of you. Before you know it, your boundaries collapse and you find yourself the next victim in their web of desperation.
2. The Pleasantries
You rattle off the well-rehearsed "oh yeah's" and "oh really's" of fake conversation while secretly dreaming of ways to escape the snares disguised in a genuine kindness of which you feel obligated to repay.
3. The Escalation
What began as innocent small-talk suddenly erupts into a deep confession where you are granted highly personal information although you do not have the emotional history to participate in this person's life story.
4. The Realization
Ah, shit. After a few attempts to terminate contact with the complete stranger who has forcefully attached themselves to you, clinging desperately to your ill-given generosity, you find yourself trapped in an eternal first impression gone terribly wrong.
5. The Appeasement
The conversation has now turned to things you say to avoid an undesirably slow death--Stockholm-Syndrome is now in full swing. You'll say anything to please your new leader. The social rules have been abused to the point that you've forgotten what words to use to authorize your departure.
6. The Culmination
You now reach the point of no return. The snow has gathered to a rolling immensity, any word you offer now could engulf you in the frozen grasp of an unwanted friendship. This is your last chance to escape with your dignity. They've disregarded the very rules of social exchange to the point where you are left with no choice but to abuse the rules yourself.
7. The Liberation
Rude or not you do what must be done and cut off the person completely. You march forward like you're crossing a finish line, escaping the absurdities of conversation unrelated to your very being, resisting the urge to look back at what now feels as if it could have been a bad dream.
During these chance encounters it's easy to let your disinterest get the better of you. Yes it can be difficult to maintain your composure but know that simply listening to someone can mean an awful lot to them--especially if they're awkward and often get blown off.
As someone who for some reason attracts people of this nature, I find myself in this situation quite a bit. Though it usually feels uncomfortable, I'm too nice to just say no. But I've found that it's a small burden to bear compared to the other person possibly feeling uninteresting, undesirable or unimportant.
In the words of the truth rattlin', blues battlin' John Prine:
"So if you're walking down the street sometime, and spot some hollow ancient eyes, Please don't just pass 'em by and stare, as if you didn't care, say, 'Hello in there, hello.'"
