The 7 Stages Of Drinking Wine With Your Best Friend
Start writing a post
Entertainment

The 7 Stages Of Drinking Wine With Your Best Friend

They say if you drink enough wine it tastes like love.

731
The 7 Stages Of Drinking Wine With Your Best Friend
Comedy Central

You know what day it is: Winesday. Or is it actually Monday? There's really no difference at this point. You and your best friend are ready to kill that $6 bottle of Moscato and text your ex-boyfriends.

Stage One: Excitement

It's roughly 7 p.m. and neither of you can wait any longer. You're ready to drown the problems you don't really have in that bottle and reveal things about yourself no one really even wants to know. Neither of you have ever been more willing to set foot in the kitchen to locate the corkscrew.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F01%2F04%2F635874898866244295-2078413361_wine%25201.gif&ho=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn1.theodysseyonline.com&s=622&h=dd9a92dcfacd4310d6f91739717bf882079549530b36b0b9feb60beb2d6adc39&size=980x&c=967115352 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F01%252F04%252F635874898866244295-2078413361_wine%2525201.gif%26ho%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fcdn1.theodysseyonline.com%26s%3D622%26h%3Ddd9a92dcfacd4310d6f91739717bf882079549530b36b0b9feb60beb2d6adc39%26size%3D980x%26c%3D967115352%22%7D" expand=1]

Stage Two: Relief

That first sip tastes better than any first sip you've ever had. You both turn your phones on silent to avoid responsibilities and start discussing whether your latest boo deserves any acknowledgment tonight or not. He doesn't, but you already have a text saved in your drafts for later. The more wine you drink, the more both of your lives will come together.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F01%2F04%2F635874901591479091-1104128829_wine%25202.gif&ho=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn1.theodysseyonline.com&s=901&h=e5ea3f74c6e383d12b963cc5f8245fa337c15fac194a88b6eb2b9be1ccabffe7&size=980x&c=3761089325 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F01%252F04%252F635874901591479091-1104128829_wine%2525202.gif%26ho%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fcdn1.theodysseyonline.com%26s%3D901%26h%3De5ea3f74c6e383d12b963cc5f8245fa337c15fac194a88b6eb2b9be1ccabffe7%26size%3D980x%26c%3D3761089325%22%7D" expand=1]

Stage Three: Ideas

Two or three glasses in and you're both feeling ambitious. You're both about to change your major, tell your exes you want to be friends, and buy front-row tickets to see Justin Bieber. The world is your oyster, and you have wine as your liquid courage and support to thank for that.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F01%2F04%2F6358749046498775371157859848_wine%25204.gif&ho=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn1.theodysseyonline.com&s=505&h=44a868d182fb69d0968cbe823f71b7cc7abf05d6adf2cd70fefc6a1040d00d2b&size=980x&c=3265239518 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F01%252F04%252F6358749046498775371157859848_wine%2525204.gif%26ho%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fcdn1.theodysseyonline.com%26s%3D505%26h%3D44a868d182fb69d0968cbe823f71b7cc7abf05d6adf2cd70fefc6a1040d00d2b%26size%3D980x%26c%3D3265239518%22%7D" expand=1]

Stage Four: Confessions and Analyzing

You and your bestie have now both had enough wine to bring your word vomit to its maximum level. It's now the perfect time to admit you stained one of her dresses and put it back in her closet and to ask her why that boy only responded with "Hahaha" when you sent a five paragraph essay. You've got a lot of information to get through before that bottle is empty.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F01%2F04%2F635874908627838138-873708584_wine%25203.gif&ho=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn1.theodysseyonline.com&s=916&h=e2b67cbec2080c72c4e86527b1c0c16786812e085651fb510ef35e52fb2f353a&size=980x&c=1112286500 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F01%252F04%252F635874908627838138-873708584_wine%2525203.gif%26ho%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fcdn1.theodysseyonline.com%26s%3D916%26h%3De2b67cbec2080c72c4e86527b1c0c16786812e085651fb510ef35e52fb2f353a%26size%3D980x%26c%3D1112286500%22%7D" expand=1]

Stage Five: Power Moves

The ultimate level of happiness from your wine has hit and you're both ready to do all the things you know are too much for a sober evening. It's time to order three large pizzas, subtweet about that girl you hate, and send the texts for your BFF that you have been the co-author of all night. You need to plan the next 10 years of your life out in this very moment.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F01%2F04%2F6358749135658236582006856442_wine%25206.gif&ho=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn1.theodysseyonline.com&s=650&h=c2c42f34f595e3553769855afec6ccfb30d2c25289f9f40a3b714fdc990acc3e&size=980x&c=3206748507 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F01%252F04%252F6358749135658236582006856442_wine%2525206.gif%26ho%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fcdn1.theodysseyonline.com%26s%3D650%26h%3Dc2c42f34f595e3553769855afec6ccfb30d2c25289f9f40a3b714fdc990acc3e%26size%3D980x%26c%3D3206748507%22%7D" expand=1]

Stage Six: Meltdown

Things are escalating quickly and not for the best. Its been 23 minutes and 46 seconds and you haven't gotten a single response to your drunk texts, your pants no longer fit and you can't stop thinking about that one time you saw a dead cat on the side of the road. You try to console each other but you are both so involved in your own problems at this point you're just talking over one another and muttering, "Why doesn't anybody like me?"

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F01%2F04%2F635874920486588629561093932_wine%25208.gif&ho=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn1.theodysseyonline.com&s=132&h=607c8e4d3ee114531fffba2ecfa906eee4ee84f3de1e5cb079b7e736045f047f&size=980x&c=2946157810 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F01%252F04%252F635874920486588629561093932_wine%2525208.gif%26ho%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fcdn1.theodysseyonline.com%26s%3D132%26h%3D607c8e4d3ee114531fffba2ecfa906eee4ee84f3de1e5cb079b7e736045f047f%26size%3D980x%26c%3D2946157810%22%7D" expand=1]

Stage Seven: Acceptance and Annoyance

You've both given up on all your thoughts for the night. You're tired, you're bloated, and if Kyle from Economics never gives you the time of day again you know you'll be just fine. You both vow to not drink wine for a while because you are too emotionally distraught. But you both know better and that you have four more bottles chilling.


Come over tomorrow for some wine? No, I couldn't possibly...

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

Writer of the Month: Emily Templeton

Get to know Miami University alumni and top creator Emily Templeton!

129
Writer of the Month: Emily Templeton

The talented team of response writers make our world at Odyssey go round! Using our response button feature, they carry out our mission of sparking positive, productive conversations in a polarized world.

Keep Reading...Show less
Top 3 Response Articles of This Week!
c1.staticflickr.com

Happy Memorial Day from Odyssey! We're excited to welcome in the summer season with our creator community. Each week, more writers are joining Odyssey while school's on break- and you could, too! Check out the bottom of the article to learn how.

Here are the top three response articles of last week:

Keep Reading...Show less
We Need More Than Memorials this Memorial Day
Cape Cod Irish

When I was a child, I used to look forward to Memorial Day Weekend from the time I returned to school after Christmas vacation. It was the yearly benchmark announcing the end of the school year and the beginning of summer vacation. It meant I was one step closer to regattas, swim meets and tennis matches.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

5 fun Summer Vacations that won't break your bank

Enjoy the sun, relax the wallet - here are the estimated costs

3090
5 fun Summer Vacations that won't break your bank
Endless Ocean
We compiled the costs related to 5 enriching summer vacations for this year in the thrifty sense:
Keep Reading...Show less
sunglasses

I remember how exciting summer was when I was a kid. I would just be eagerly waiting for school to end so that I could fly to some exotic location with my family for the summer. Or hang out with my friends every day. Or just lay around in bed or read, paint, draw, basically do whatever.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments