So you're not a freshman anymore and have an ego like Donald Trump's now? Well, I'm so incredibly sorry my Sophomore friend, but I'm going to have to diagnose you with "Sophomoritis." It's a disease in which you simply think you've got this college thing in the bag now that you're not a freshie anymore. Here are 7 of the most obvious symptoms of Sophomoritis:
1) You point out all the new freshmen
You can spot Freshmen everywhere, and you go out of your way to point them out in a crowd because you're not fresh meat anymore. #Sophomoritis
2) You know where everything is, and you make sure everyone knows it too
You know where all your classes are, where the best study spot on campus is and where all the bathrooms are. Heck, you even know where all the football players live on campus. You'll even go out of your way to tell everyone else too.
3) You actually know people in your classes this year and go out of your way to greet them as if they were your BFF
You remember Becky from College Writing? You chatted with Becky everyday, but never made contact with her other than in class and on campus a few times. Oh but wait, you're a sophomore now and you see her in your Economics class this year. You both run up to each other and give each other a hug making a huge scene for everyone with nothing better to do to watch. On the outside it shows that you two have missed each other a ton, but on the inside you're both relieved you actually know someone in the class so when the prof wants you to "partner up" you have someone to go to.
4) You're chill with the profs and you're not afraid to talk to them anymore
You call them by their first name, so you're practically #besties now.
5) Your laziness has reached a whole new level
You know you don't have to sweat as much when that reading is assigned because who actually reads the textbook anyways? And essays are basically a breeze, right? Your level of laziness and procrastination is #onpoint here, so now you have all the time in the world to sit in your room, eat popcorn and watch Netflix. Even though you know you have to do all this work, you simply don't do it because you don't have those freshmen jitters anymore. #hollaatchoboi
6) You feel like you're privileged to do anything even though you're not
You feel like you have the right to go wherever you please and do whatever you want just because you "know the ropes around this place now."
7) You start looking like a cocky jerk to everyone
You're older, you recognize some familiar faces and you know where everything is on campus. We get it. You're "experienced" now.
Sophomoritis is a very serious condition. If symptoms aren't treated, the Sophomoritis cells in your body could become even more aggressive and turn into the virus called "Junioritis." The most severe case is "Senioritis," yet most don't live past that. If you or a friend suffer from at least 1 of these symptoms, please call your local bakery to make you some humble pie. Eat the whole thing and never look back.
This article is completely satirical.
