English majors: we’re an interesting breed. We actually kind of enjoy reading old English (sometimes) and are particularly good at spelling (well, at least most of the time). But there are specific tendencies we all have and there are things you notice when encountering a group on English majors. So, how do you know you’re a true English major? Here’s some of the signs.
1. The silence.
Normally, when you walk into a class full of college kids, there is a fair amount of chatter. But when you walk into a room full of English majors, there is mostly pre-class reading going on. We are either trying to speed-read what we were supposed to read last night, or we are working on our reading for another class. Please do not disturb.
2. The library.
I'm not talking about the one on campus. I'm talking about our rooms, our living rooms and occasionally, even the kitchen. There are books everywhere. And yes, we have to read all of them. Or at least attempt to. There are (unfortunately) only twenty-four hours in a day.
3. SparkNotes.
Yes, of course we use SparkNotes. Like I said, there are only so many hours in a day. And let's pretend we need at least five or six of those to sleep. We would like more, but let's be realistic. (This applies to all majors, it's a general college thing). That being said, it is impossible to read absolutely every word of every book, play, poem and article that we are assigned. So. SparkNotes. Yes. Thank you.
4. The imagination.
If anyone could ever write a full 2,000 word essay about something they did not read and really have no clue about, it's an English major. We are masters of stating, restating and using beautiful vocabulary words.
5. The analysis.
On the other hand, if you need help sorting out some sort of cryptic message in literature, we're your first call.
6. The stereotype.
While there are exceptions, yes, most of us do live up to "English major" stereotypes: nose in book, tea in hand, cat on lap, an extremely strong reverence for "Harry Potter" (you can almost feel the collective heartfelt sigh and see the Hufflepuff water bottles) and a love-hate relationship with Charles Dickens.
7. The extreme chill.
While every major has some nightmare professors, you are very likely to luck out on professors when it comes to English. While often firm graders, English professors love to sit around and talk about stories. Our classes are pretty small, comfortable and interesting.
So, my other English majors out there, I salute you with a paperback of "The Great Gatsby." Keep reading. We'll make it.
