There's no harm in starting to feel older, but it does make it difficult to have friends that are still all about being young and wild. If the thought of going out more than twice a week at one point made you jump for joy, but now makes you cringe with regret, and doing anything other going to brunch on Sunday morning is a nauseating thought, chances are you're probably starting to become the college Grandma.
And no, I'm not talking about the person who skips going to the bar one night to binge watch Netflix instead, simply because the will to go out just isn't there. You're still young, wild, and free. I'm referring to the person who is easily excited by going out to dinner on Friday night followed by drunk pinning bathroom tile ideas to their "Future Home" board. Here are some signs that you're starting to become a mini-adult.
1. You live for going out to dinner.
Ah, restaurants. Didn't you always wonder as a child what was so appealing to adults about going out to dinner? Now, you don't even know why you questioned it. Maybe it has to do with the fact you get to eat. Maybe the big draw is being able to drink...while sitting. It's not that you're lazy. You just understand the importance of the soles of your feet and that dancing at (or on top of) a bar got old before you could even do it more than a handful of times. Not to mention the relaxing post-meal espresso with no need to rush the check because you realize these are the few precious moments of your week that you can unwind, all while still looking Fashion Police ready. Don't forget not having to go through the sloppy cab ride home that a bar night would ultimately bring.
2. You're easily excited by the little things in life.
Have you ever gone into someone's bathroom and saw they had the tiny hand soaps shaped like shells and felt your heart skip a beat? Or got psyched about winning a Tony Bennett CD and a Rite Aid gift card? That is until you realize you don't even listen to Tony Bennett and you prefer CVS to Rite Aid. Look, there's nothing wrong with getting excited about free stuff (lame as it may be), or getting that little tingle in your stomach when the new Home Good's shipment comes in. Hell, you may even get amped up at the thought of the season premieres of all your favorite fall shows. Just remember, most people don't lose their mind over these things so don't be surprised if you're looked at with three heads when you talk to your friends about it.
3. Brunch, brunch, brunch.
No this is not in the same category as going out to dinner so why would you ask that? Breakfast food served at any time up until 3 p.m. most places, is definitely something going out to dinner can't do for yo. If you're truly old, you know there's not much that can top brunch. Old friend came home and you want to catch up? Brunch. You woke up late on the weekend but you're looking for more than a Bacon, Egg and Cheese? Brunch. Stressed and trying to avoid responsibility? Brunch. And yet it's so much more than dinner, probably because you can appreciate the exhaustion of the daily life of an adult but you still crave doing more than just laying in bed on a Sunday.
4. Thinking of the future stabilizes you rather than worries you.
Pinning wedding dresses and future living room layouts isn't just a hobby but a very real thought. The idea of a spouse, a home, a great career, and how many kids you want to have doesn't scare you, but only motivates you so you can truly have everything you want in life. While others may fear commitment and hyperventilate at the thought of a job in the "real world" you feel as though you've already been a part of this "real world" and adult life doesn't come as a challenge but as the most coveted thing you can imagine.
5. Seeing someone create a mess takes a couple years off your life.
College kids are supposed to be messy and disgusting, but not you. Watching crumbs scatter all over a table or someone ripping off their clothes and leaving them them strewn on the floor gives you more anxiety than a long line at Starbucks. Obviously your own life isn't so perfectly put together but shouldn't other people at least know that walking around like a wrinkled mess is frowned upon and that dumping out a full garbage can every once in a while will do them no harm?
6. Starting a two hour movie past 8:30pm is strictly criminal.
Someone suggests renting a movie around 9pm and you start doing the math in your head. Two hours from 9 p.m. is 11 p.m. plus possible pauses to go the bathroom, maybe get a snack. That's way too late for you considering you don't shower past 9:30 p.m. and you still have to watch last week's "Scandal" before bed. Clearly this can't all fit in before midnight so you'll have to decline.
7. Your motherly instinct is dying to tell that kid to wear a coat.
It's snowing and this kid in front of you is wearing a sweatshirt, while you're layered in at least one undershirt, a sweater, a down winter coat with a chunky scarf, duck boots, and pom-pom winter hat. Doesn't he know you can get sick like that? Who has the time in their life to be sick and miss work and school? Apparently this kid. You're probably dying to take a layer off to donate to him, or scold him for lack of clothing but then you realize that's not socially acceptable.
I'm sure you're already thinking of other ways you've earned your grandma status. Don't be so worried though, everyone will catch up to you eventually. So for now, use your internal older wisdom to an advantage and remember as the lovely Khloe Kardashian said, "You have your whole life to be old, but only a few years to be young."
