Everyone has at least one friend during the months fall that insists on ordering a pumpkin spiced drink. Sometimes even you cave under pressure and find yourself spiraling down a caffeinated hole of drink order decisions. Here are some side effects to watch out for this season.
1. Unusual Change In Taste Buds
All your favorite foods and drinks suddenly taste bland. You wonder if you might need to add more sugar to your drinks. Does your food need more seasoning? Your taste buds lack stimulation that is often found in the chemical compound of pumpkin spice flavoring, which is WGG, also known as White Girl Goals. This makes all other flavors seem to dissatisfy because your taste buds are not fulfilled.
2. Uncontrollable Need To Try Anything Pumpkin Spiced
Since dabbling with drink orders, you find yourself wanting to expand your options. You've become the Bubba shrimp of all possible pumpkin spiced recipes. You begin listing off Pumpkin spiced donuts...Pumpkin spiced cheerios...Pumpkin spiced cheesecake...Pumpkin spiced vodka...and the list goes on. Once you've finished the list, you think about ways to decor your home with your favorite flavor. Your parents seem rather concerned with your new obsession and think it's time for an intervention.
3. Lack Of Performance In Surprising Your Barista
Most likely you've been going to the same coffee place on a weekly basis to the extent of being considered a "regular." Your order sometimes changes based on how your feeling, the weather, or sometimes you want to try something new. Recently you've become rather predictable. You've become so predictable that the barista can hand you your drink order before opening your mouth. Nobody is judging you, just wondering when you're going to spice things up.
4. Dizziness And Drooling Upon Ordering
This side effect may be due to the hallucinations experienced when visualizing your order. Your salvia is preparing for that first sip of pure bliss. Your knees can't even handle the sensation. You often suppress the urge to order more than one. The desire for multiple drinks can be dangerous.
5. Trouble In Swallowing Flavorless Coffee or Lattes
Your nightmare suddenly happens when you hear the three depressing words, "Sorry, we're out." How is something like this possible? But then you remember there's a high demand for this majestic aroma that draws in customers. You have to settle for your old drink order, which you vaguely recall. Scientist have been studying why pumpkin spice users have a hard time swallowing flavorless drink orders. Maybe it's because it lacks the zest of fall festivities.
6. Headaches From Waiting In Line For Your Order
It would be nice if they could develop an app that could instantly make your drink right in front of you. Anything would be better than the ridiculously long line you're waiting in. A headache of annoyance is your current state of despair. You "can't even," even if you really could. Headaches can be cured once it's your turn to order. The risk of someone messing up your order can cause mild bitch face and additional headaches.
7. An Allergic Reaction To People Who Hate Pumpkin Spice
Most of your body pulsates and swells in the event of a classmate or co-worker poking fun of your passion for pumpkin spice. You begin to twitch and use defensive language. They notice a certain hostility in your eyes and color change in your face. Your fists have become the Arthur the aardvark meme. You have now lost the ability to take a joke. What a tragedy.
