Dad. What is the meaning of that word? What exactly are they supposed to do? How the heck do you get them to stop harshly speaking and holding the "holy crap bar" as you drive?
Dads are there when we are born, they hold us when we cry, they teach us how to drive, they stand in line to get cold cuts at the grocery store. But the most important thing about dads is that they're our true heroes.
1. They know every line to every Mary Kate and Ashley movie.
They pretend like they have no idea what you're watching on one of those days when you're just feeling like being nostalgic, but let's face it: they know every line. "We'll solve any crime by dinner time," is his favorite catch phrase.
They have also definitely asked you if John Tucker does, in fact, die in the end.
And let's not even get started on that time they put "aca" in front of every word after you so graciously took them to see "Pitch Perfect."
2. They sang "Jesus Take the Wheel" as you were learning to drive.
You know they love you, but it terrified them to let their baby take the Corolla and drive off into the sunset. That fateful day at the DMV was a terrifying one for them because you were about to embark on the greatest journey you've ever known: blasting the stereo as loud as you possibly can.
3. They introduced you to all of the classic films.
"Remember the Titans," "Miracle," "Little Giants." Dads know exactly where the great movies are at. Nothing beats those classic sports movies, and the values they instill. Except, maybe, any John Hughes movie ever written. They hope and pray that you'll aspire to find your Jake Ryan, or ride off on the lawn mower with Ronald, or even have a boy play a boom box just outside your window.
They'll never forget when the Jack Johnson song about fathers and daughters was played during "The Wild Thornberry's Movie." Even though they have no idea about any wildlife in Africa, they still hoped to be the Nigel to your Eliza.
4. They coached your teams.
In kindergarten, when you attempted soccer but refused to run, they coached you anyways because they knew someday you might actually like sports.
In high school, they helped out with your lacrosse team and learned the game as quickly as possible because it was totally your way of bonding.
5. Dad jokes.
Dad jokes for days. Whenever you're about to take a major test or go to get a tooth pulled, I can guarantee your dad has a joke for it.
Sure, they're extremely lame, but let's face it: when they offer to step on your other foot when you stubbed your right pinky toe is pretty funny in the moment.
They also hold onto embarrassing stories from your childhood and will for sure hold them against you for the rest of your life, so be careful what you do!
6. They let you eat basically what you want.
Sometimes, dads want to be kids themselves and will totally go on that Frosty run with you. They introduced you to your first popsicle and Oreo and they're definitely the reason you love Twizzlers so much.
7. They have extremely high standards for you.
Sometimes, it may not seem like it, but they really only want you to succeed in life. They interview boyfriends, and they hound you till they can't anymore about getting things done, but at the end of the day they really only want you to be truly happy. They want to see that little soccer star run down her field of life, and score the goal that is her happily ever after.
