People have mixed opinions on long-distance relationships in college. Some say it’s a waste of time, that college is about discovering yourself, focusing on friendships and your career. Some don’t have faith in two people refraining from the many tempting hookup options on college campuses. Yet some still have faith in them, with modern technology and cheap travel options all you need is love and commitment to make it work. I’m definitely the latter.
I’m currently in an LDR. I live in Chicago and my girlfriend lives in Minneapolis. For those familiar with geography, it’s not an incredibly far distance (six hours by car, one hour by plane). But believe me, the distance is still hard. I often find myself getting a little jealous of couples who live in the same city and have decided to compose a list for said couples. Here are the things that couples who aren’t in LDRs take for granted.
1. Cuddling on a regular basis, whenever you want.
I can’t stress this enough: I love cuddling. I have been cuddly since birth, always trying to snuggle up to the nearest person, cat, dog, pillow, or simply crying until someone hugged me. Needless to say, when my favorite person to cuddle isn’t nearby, it sucks. When I see couples cuddling and kissing in public I get a kind of jealousy I’ve never felt before. If you think single people hate seeing couples in public, imagine how frustrating it is for someone who has a significant other—just not in the same physical space.
2. Always having a date for boring sh*t you don't want to go to.
I wish I could just call my girlfriend up and say, “Hey, I have to go to [boring required event] for [class I didn’t want to sign up for] wanna come with?” Because sometimes you have to go to lame events, but being with the chick/dude you love at a boring gathering is a guaranteed good time. You two can crack jokes about fellow attendees, steal any free food and sneak off to make out somewhere. It’s the best.
3. Getting to coordinate goofy couples costumes for Halloween.
I never thought I’d be the girl who gets bitter that
she can’t do a couples costume, but I am. I wanted to go as Bey-Z for
Halloween, but neither me nor my girlfriend can get the weekend off work. So
instead I’m going as "whatever I can make out of my already existing clothes."
4. Spending holidays/birthdays/anniversaries together.
It’s always hard to be able to visit each other for every single important event (see four), but for those of you who live in the same city as your S.O. you don’t have to worry about that. You don’t have to worry about requesting off countless days from work and buying plane tickets early enough so they aren’t too expensive. You don’t know the sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach when your flight gets cancelled due to snow. You just don’t know.
5. Being in the same room as your S.O. doing nothing.
FaceTime is a fantastic invention, and it’s the best form of communication for people in LDRs. One of the things FaceTime can’t replicate are those lazy afternoons with your S.O. just hanging out together doing essentially nothing. With FaceTime (or Skype or whatever you use), you feel obligated to fill the silence with words. It’s weird when there’s a long pause or you run out of things to say. You just look at each other and wonder if it’s even worth trying to keep up the conversation once you run out of things to say.
6. Being able to go to your S.O.’s house after a shi**y day.
Sometimes days suck and all you want is to go to your bae’s house and cry/f**k/kiss it out. That’s not an option for people in LDRs; the best you can do is call them and tell them about it. It’s better than nothing, but sometimes all you want is their arms wrapped around you telling you it’ll be OK.
7. Sleeping with your S.O.
Falling asleep without my girlfriend holding me is one of the worst parts about distance. If we end up going to bed around the same time, we’ll FaceTime each other through the night and we can hear each other shift around in bed, but it’s not the same.
LDRs are a challenge, but it doesn’t mean that they aren’t worth it. No relationship is going to be easy all the time and being in an LDR is something most people in long-term relationships end up doing at one point or another. Sometimes life doesn’t line up with your S.O. and they have a job in one city and you in the other. Life is complicated and crazy and wild and sometimes it keeps you away from the person you love, but it’s always temporary.
