One complaint about the final Harry Potter book that no fan seems capable of getting over is the naming of Harry's middle child, Albus Severus. For some inexplicable reason, Harry named his child after a man who constantly put a young boy up against a powerful, psychotic wizard for the sake of the "greater good" and a man who spent most of his time bullying children and generally making everyone's lives harder/miserable.

Really? That's the best you could do, Boy Who Lived?

I figured it was my duty to pull a Hermione and give Harry a little advice, this time on how to name his children after people who actually deserve that honor.

7. Minerva

I don't even care that this is obviously a girl's name. Why wouldn't you want to name your child after Minerva McGonagall? She's scarily intelligent, tough, courageous, and always ready to lash out at idiots with snarky comments. I am seriously considering naming my own child after her it in the hopes of him/her turning out half as amazing as the former Head of Gryffindor House.

6. Fred

Okay, I know that George already named his son Fred in his late brother's honor, but Fred was such a big personality that he deserves to have more than one namesake. He (along with George) was a bright light for Harry during a time when his life was overwhelmed with darkness. Also, what's with Harry naming all of his children after people who only directly impacted his life or who are related to him? Can't he let Ginny pick a name for once?

5. Arthur

Keeping with the Weasley theme, why not name his son after the man who always treated him with warmth, kindness, and support? Arthur consistently put Harry's personal safety and well-being before the wizardery world's greater good; he didn't coddle Harry from what existed in the world (even letting him in on Sirius Black's history with the Potters when no one else would tell him), but he also didn't expect Harry, a young man, to always risk his life for the sake of others. Arthur was the father Harry both wanted and needed, and he was more than enthusiastic to fill that role. Really, Harry--naming your son after him is the least you could've done.

4. Molly

Harry's child is a boy, you say? Well, I don't care. The fact that he named none of his children after the Weasley matriarch is downright blasphemous. She didn't spend seven years worrying herself sick over Harry's safety for him to overlook her when it came time to fill out his kids' birth certificates. If there's one person in this series who constantly put Harry's needs above their own, it's Molly Weasley; she could be overbearing and stern, but she loved Harry fiercely and did everything she could to protect him and give him the life she knew he deserved. Molly Weasley is an actual angel in human being form, and Harry deserves a particularly nasty Howler for overlooking her.

3. Dobby

What does it take to get Harry Potter to name his child after you? Apparently rescuing him and his friends from Death Eaters, getting mortally wounded in said rescue mission, using your last breath to tell him how happy you are to be with him and to be his friend, and then dying in his arms isn't good enough for Harry. Dobby may have been a total nuisance in Harry's second year, but by the end of the series, he more than proved himself to be one of the best friends Harry ever had. Dobby didn't die to be forgotten, damn it.

2. Rubeus

I dare you to find a better, more wholesome person in the series than Rubeus Hagrid. He's passionate, friendly, nurturing, and sensitive. His heart is even bigger than his height would lead you to believe, and he's shown how much he loves Harry time and time again. Hagrid doesn't care about Harry because of his legendary status or what he can do to help the wizarding world; he cares about Harry because he just genuinely loves him. It's an insult for Harry not to have named his kid after him, honestly.

1. Remus

There's a special place in hell reserved for Harry Potter for naming his kids after all the Marauders except for Moony. Remus Lupin was one of the best people in Harry's life. He didn't love Harry just because he was the son of his deceased best friends, and he certainly never acted like Harry was merely a carbon copy of his father, despite both looking and acting like him. Remus saw Harry for the person he was, and he did everything in his power to protect and support him. He thought so highly of Harry that he even made him the godfather of his and Tonks' son, Teddy. And how did Harry repay him? By completely forgetting about him.

Harry James Potter--I always knew you could be an idiot, but you really outdid yourself with this one. "...Two of the bravest men I ever knew"? Riiiiight. Way to go, ya Roonil Wazlib.