We've all heard the horror stories of how high the divorce rate in America currently is and most of us have some connection (even a distant one) to divorce. I have been lucky enough to grow up in a home where my parents have remained married and just celebrated their 27th wedding anniversary. Watching my parents over the years, I realized that there are some lessons to be learned from their marriage.
1. Fights will happen, you just have to move past them.
My parents have argued, as every couple has, but the significant thing about the arguments I've seen my parents have is that I've always seen them make up. Just because you have one fight doesn't mean you are incompatible forever.
2. Find someone you can be yourself around.
Life is no fun if you're pretending to be someone you're not. And, despite all the romantic comedies where someone lies about their true identity and the couple falls madly in love, pretending to be someone other than yourself is not a healthy way to start a relationship. You want to spend the rest of your life with someone who loves you for all your fun little quirks.
3. Remember that your kids are going to be like your spouse.
No matter who you marry, your children are going to have some of the characteristics of your spouse. They might look like them, but they might also act like them. If your husband is the King of Sarcasm, it's likely that your children will have a sarcastic streak the size of the Nile River running through their veins. Not that my mom knows anything about that...
4. Find someone who will embarrass the kids with you.
I will be the first to admit that I have been the victim of embarrassing parents for the past 22 years. Many a blush has crossed my cheeks in a public place because of something my parents did specifically to embarrass me (often in front of the cute guys). So, if that means photobombing your children while they try out weird photo filters, do it. They'll have kids of their own to embarrass one day.
5. Just keep flirting.
Will I be the first to make vomit sounds when my parents start flirting in public? Absolutely. But, that's my job as their daughter. Deep down, I'm actually pretty proud of the fact that my parents can still flirt with one another after 27 years and four kids together. That's impressive. And, OK, it's kind of adorable.
6. Be with someone who adores you.
My dad posted this photo of my mom with the caption "My date." After 27 years of marriage they still adore each other and find little ways to show it. Like Instagram posts of one another. Honestly, my parents are #RelationshipGoals
7. You don't have to find someone exactly like you.
My parents are not exactly like one another. And that's OK. In fact, their difference help balance them out and keep the relationship interesting. So, don't go looking for someone to be exactly like you, just find someone who loves all of you.
8. Don't settle.
Both of my parents had serious relationships before they met each other. If they had settled for those relationships, their 27 year marriage wouldn't have ever existed (and neither would I, which is the real travesty there). They found someone who was their best friend, who would support them in their life endeavors and who loved them fiercely through every season in life. In ups, downs and in-betweens, my parents have had each other. And I have been able to witness it.
So, Mom and Dad, thanks for being such a great example to me and for setting that standard high. You guys are the best, even when you do gross things like kiss.
