Do you ever get so tired that you stop making sense but you still don’t want to sleep?
This happens almost weekly to my ginger, bombshell of a best friend. So much in fact that we have a routine for identifying when she’s gone loopy. First, I ask if she’s “At the point?” and she always denies it. Then after scrolling through Instagram for a few minutes, I make eye contact with her and say very slowly “pudding”. If she laughs, she’s 100% about to acting like a maniac. It’s highly amusing to watch her and some of my favorite moments in our friendship are me laughing at all the ridiculous things she says when she’s this tired. And those are the moments I’d like to share with you! So without further ado, here are seven hilarious quotes from my very exhausted bestie.
1. “I look like a potato with a piece of lasagna thrown over it”.
Some background information, not only is this girl very pale but her face was also breaking out. Those two things added with her lack of sleep was how this statement came to be said as she examined her face in the mirror. I will say this is probably my favorite description of getting a break-out. Plus lasagna and potatoes sounds like a great combination to me, but I have an addiction to cards so I’m probably not the most impartial person.
2. “Do you ever feel like you’re missing a toe?”
Honestly I have no idea where this came from. One minute she’s eating my potato chips (she still owes me a replacement bag) and the next minute her hot dog sock is on the floor and she’s just staring at her foot.
3. “Some guy said I look like Pam from ‘The Office’ and it made my life”.
That’s a pretty awesome compliment. Do I know why she called by at almost midnight to tell me this? No. Did I make a bunch of jokes about finding her a Jim? Yes.
4. "My mom's mad I'm not a trophy wife yet".
This beautiful tidbit of information was shared with me at 3 a.m. after a Netflix binge watching session. Not only did I laugh really hard but this prompted us to have an hour long conversation about how we would hypothetically murder her old, rich husband. That’s what trophy wives do, right?
5. “I have a birthmark that looks like a chicken nugget”.
Honestly who wouldn’t want one of the best foods on their body? Plus she was born with it, so clearly her obsession with chicken nuggets was preordained.
6. “I found a hot guy who works at Chick-fil-a on Tinder. You bet I swiped right!”
Speaking of that chicken nugget obsession, this was clearly a match made in heaven for her. Just one of the many reasons that we casually check out Tinder after going almost 24 hours without sleep. She was also hanging upside-down off my bed, so I hope she actually swiped in the right direction. Get it? Right direction.
7. “Better to arrive late than ugly”.
The back story for this one is that we had planned a brunch date with one of our coworkers and were trying to decide what time we should leave. While brunch does have a more flexible time frame, it was already noon so I was pushing for immediate departure. Instead of leaving, we stayed in our pajamas and she put on a face mask which was when this statement was uttered. In her defense, we did only get about three hours of sleep and I don’t think either of us could have been classified as “functioning” yet.
