"Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me." King David wrote these raw words in Psalm 42, expressing the constant accumulation of sorrow on top of sorrow. How often have we felt this way? With insult adding to insult and trouble that seems to show up at every turn, the pain caused by life can feel so overwhelming. But even in the midst of our hurting, there is so much grace. I do not pretend to have all of the answers when it comes to pain and suffering in our lives. But I do know God is good, even when life is not. Here are six lessons God has taught me in the middle of dealing with life's pain.
1. You are allowed to hurt.
Somewhere along the way, I got the idea that my pain was not valid. I knew people suffering from illness, children who had lost parents or parents who had lost jobs. In comparison, my pain seemed silly, like a common fever compared to pneumonia. But what I missed was that it was my pain. It may not seem as prayer-chain worthy as other people's, but it was something I was struggling with nevertheless.
Moreover, I have learned that hurting does not make one a "bad Christian." Admitting that you are struggling or going through a period of doubt does not make your faith less valid or God less powerful. Pain is part of the human experience. In fact, Christ himself experienced pain. We have a God that does not require us to come to Him whole, but rather, He allows us to come to Him with all of our broken pieces and tears.
2. Sometimes we need God more than we need the answers.
I love answers. I love having a battle plan and knowing exactly what I am supposed to do. I am more than happy to get on board with the "doing God's will" plan of action, but I want to know exactly where God wants me to go. In the midst of pain, this longing can become so severe. As we lay on our beds in the darkest night with tears rolling into our pillows, our voice calls out in the darkness, "Why? O God, why?" But sometimes, we need God more than we need the answers. I cannot pretend to understand the plan God has for my life. And as much as I would love to know what God has in store and to have an explanation for the trials I walk through, more than this, I need to rest in His sweet presence. My deepest longing is for His love, and only in His presence may I find rest.
3. The pain will diminish when you desire God more than you desire whatever you're heart is holding onto.
Listen very closely. I am not saying this will cause the pain to go away. Neither am I suggesting that a shift in heart's desires will cause this painful situation to end. What I am saying is that so often we heighten the intensity of our painful circumstances by mixing up our heart desires. When we allow our desire for control, justice, acceptance, a new house, your dream college, a certain relationship and so on to become bigger than our desire for God, we experience more pain by removing ourselves from the very one who can offer comfort. By rearranging our hearts so that our deepest desire becomes a desire for God, we will find satisfaction, for this can be fulfilled each and every time.
4. The things God has for us are so much better than the things we have for ourselves.
As humans, we are so weak. How often would we settle for the first thing that glimmers in front of our eyes because it seems like the best option at the time? But God has a plan for our lives, which He has created since the very beginning. It is a plan not to harm you, but to "prosper you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11). Although his "no" sometimes stings, it is often God telling us, "You cannot have this because I have something so much better for you." In the moment, it can be hard to trust and see the bigger picture, especially when we think our plan is best. But the God who has secured your soul for eternity is sovereign enough to care for the details of your life.
5. You have a higher calling.
It is so easy and tempting to run away and hide when dealing with pain. We want to shut off the emotions, erect our walls and close the blinds. We want to crawl into our "safe space" where it is easy, predictable and void of pain. We want to turn people away and hide in our shells. But we have been called to higher and deeper things. God longs for us to have meaningful relationships with others and with him. But this cannot be accomplished when we hide from others and from him. Perhaps it is risking being hurt, rejected or let down again, but if we do not take risks, we will never have the opportunity of experiencing the blessings that happen when we act on faith.
6. It is time to go home.
Sometimes through pain, God uses the opportunity to break our hearts open and make them tender toward Him. Even when it is so hard to lift our eyes toward heaven, he uses these experiences to refine us further if we let Him. Sometimes we come kicking and screaming our way toward the bottom. But once you reach the bottom, you have a choice. You can continue in this pain, or you may give up and go home. At the bottom, you have nowhere else to go, so it is time to surrender your control and desires to Christ. It is time to stop fighting the work He is doing in your heart.
7. His mercies are new every morning.
There may be wailing in the night, but joy comes in the morning. Right now it is so hard to keep going, but when the dawn breaks in glorious light, allow it to be a reminder that Christ's love has never left you. It is as faithful as the rising sun, and as beautiful as a brand-new morning. You may feel tired and used. You may feel weary and worn out. But each new morning, He provides mercy and strength for the struggle.
"Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God." — Psalm 42:5
