"Squad goals," "relationship goals," "hair goals," "blueberry scone goals." They're all irrelevant.
The notion of "goals" as a hashtag, or a trending declaration of desire and admiration is baffling to me, for one very particular reason—no two lives are exactly the same. Life shouldn't be wasted coveting what the rest of the world has when there is already plenty to work with in your own life.
Today's world, weighed down by the inconvenience of social media's "humblebrags" and easily edited and Photoshopped lives leave us feeling like everyone else has it all figured out while we're still hitting the snooze button of life. The fact of the matter is that in 10 years, you will not regret the time you spent figuring life out.
The average person has 70 plus years in their life time to figure things out, meaning that you have more time than you think to achieve your goals. The true fuel behind that warm and cheerful feeling you get when you achieve a life goal is actually the path that led you there, regardless of the triumphs, or failures in the process.
So instead of scrolling through your Instagram feed, desperately wishing your tiny apartment looked as cozy on a rainy day as the well-angled, cropped, and filtered photos on your feed, aspire to achieve these seven goals all twenty-somethings should accomplish:
1. A place to call home
Whether home means your old childhood bedroom back at your parents', a tiny walk-up apartment, a quaint colonial in the suburbs, or a secluded farm house in the middle of nowhere, a sense of "home" is what we're all looking for deep down, isn't it?
In the past, having a home meant putting a down payment on a four-bedroom with a white picket fence. Now, it's anywhere you feel the most "you." Where you feel the safest. Your happy place. It can mean a place, person, particular city or country, or just wherever your bed is.
Finding your version of home is crucial because each day it's where you begin and end your journey when you go out into the world to do great things.
2. An education
There seems to be this unspoken rule that the more degrees you have, the better chances you have in this world, and whether that's true or not, it’s probably irrelevant in the grand scheme of life.
A job is exactly that–one job, but life is that job and everything else. It requires knowledge, experience, and education, whether that means a college education, studying abroad and immersing in other cultures, apprenticeship with a mentor, or just going forth into the world each day and learning from the endless wells of knowledge that exist there. We live in a world where the opportunities are endless, and while they may not all be easily grasped, they exist and are there for the picking.
3. A reason to wake up in the morning
“Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life,” may very well be one of the truest statements you can live by. I often think that people misconstrue it as meaning that you should choose a career you love, and while that’s true I don’t think your career should be the sole reason for waking up each morning, and it certainly shouldn’t be the only work in your life.
Whether it does mean a career for you, or family and friends, a hobby, or an experience, find something that gives you a reason to wake up each morning. Do something that makes you feel as though you’re achieving something great each and every day.
4. A healthy acceptance that sometimes things just suck
Living in a world where we’re seemingly always being compared to those around us leaves us feeling like we’re already too far behind others. Bad days, minor failures, and plan derailments make it worse.
A tiny failure makes it seem like we’ve been catapulted to last place in the race of achievement, but I think we sometimes forget that failure exists for everyone. Not a single person in this world, even those who are the most fortunate and privileged, has had absolutely everything work out perfectly. At one time or another, there was a roadblock. The difference is that people only share their triumphs and accomplishments. No one takes to social media or the family Thanksgiving table to boast about their setbacks and failures.
And the way you feel when something doesn’t go as planned is exactly how the next person feels when they’re dealing with negativity. Sometimes things just suck. And that’s OK. What defines us in a sucky situation is how well we bounce back from it. Some are worse than others and require a minor “regroup.” Take the time you need to process, be a little upset about it, and energize to take on the next step. But never let a bad day, week, month, or year take you down permanently. Nothing is permanent.
5. Knowing what and who is good for us
I’m convinced that our twenties are when we meet the most people.
Some stick around for a while, others are just passing through, and a few are in it for the long haul. We think we know where to categorize the people that are already in our life, but we forget that the honest truth to it all is that no one is guaranteed, and that we hold on so desperately to who and what we have already that we forget not everything is ours to keep.
Occasionally, people leave your life unexpectedly, and some of them you’re glad to see go. When it comes to others, we convince ourselves that the universe is making a life-altering mistake, when the truth is that it’s making a life-altering decision. Our inability to see into the future makes us cling to what we already have, but knowing what and who is good for us is a crucial part of growing as a person. It’s important to know that who or what might not be good for us now very well may be in the future, and who or what is good for us in our twenties, may be an absolute disaster in even just a year’s time.
Think of letting go of someone or something from your life as making space for the people or opportunities that are on their way there now. Wait patiently for them, and prepare, because they’ll be just what you’ve been waiting for.
6. A reason to laugh
Laughter is a natural fuel—I’m convinced. I’m also convinced that the only thing that separates a bad day from a good one is laughter or lack thereof. If you’ve only laughed once today, it’s been a rotten day, and if you’ve spent the day laughing, it’s one for the books.
There’s something about telling a joke, or hearing one, and sharing an instant bond with everyone in the room. Laughter is a sign of happiness, an emotion that we often forget is crucial in surviving in the world. We also often think of happiness as the feeling you get once you’ve “made it.” After you’ve received that promotion, or found a new swanky apartment, the feeling your friend gets when the photo of her new engagement ring gets 100+ likes.
These are temporary, and you can only feel them once. Laughter is a little dose of happiness with no limit. It’s raw genuine joy that elicits an involuntary response from you–a laugh. It’s what gives you the confidence, positive mindset, and fuel to go forward and accomplish your goals.
7. Creating something great
People often forget how much potential they possess to create something amazing whether that’s a piece of visual art, novel, full meal, family, or anything in between.
Creation is how the world flourishes and why it’s constantly bubbling with new, insightful ideas, memories, and knowledge. We all have that friend who can create art that changes your entire perception of the world, and we all have another friend who’s already preparing for their six future children.
Then there are those of us who fall somewhere in the middle, who take each day at a time, and create when we can, giving the world a little piece of us everyday. Whatever it is that you want to create, create it. Share it with the world, with the people around you, and let it serve as a reminder for all of the great things you’ve achieved.
