The Fourth of July is often a huge holiday for any United States citizen. It's the day to celebrate our freedom and get lit without any judgement. Here are 7 extremely fun ways to pass the time this Independence Day!
1. Play the "Were those fireworks or gunshots I just heard?" game.
This game is always a fun time. Bonus points if one or both are illegal in your state. It's also fun to play the follow-up game, "Were those screams of pain or screams of joy?" Gotta love the holiday spirit!
2. Cry because you're easily scared of noises.
For someone who is easily scared by any unexpected thing, this holiday can be kind of rough. It's a really fun time to flinch every time a firework goes off, even if it's all the way in the distance. Having a panic attack at every boom is a great way to spend this holiday!
3. Eat. A lot.
One good thing about this holiday is the amount of food every consumes. No matter who is around or what is happening, nobody can judge you because everyone is mindlessly eating hot dogs or chips and dip. Eat your body weight in hamburgers or kit-kats. Do it. No one can stop you. Beauty is a man-made concept.
4. Turn off all the lights and pretend the holiday doesn't exist.
Sit it in a pitch black room in a blanket burrito and pretend nothing at all is happening. Pretend you are this dog because everything is fine but your house is on fire and you're on fire and your water is on fire and you're in hell.
5. Raise a glass to freedom.
Something they can never take away, no matter what they tell you... America is pretty cool sometimes and this holiday is all about celebrating how we became an independent country, so is there a better way of celebrating than to blast "The Story Of Tonight" from the Hamilton soundtrack. Better yet, blast the entire soundtrack. Get lit to the founding fathers having a rap battle. C'mon, it's what all the kids are doing.
6. Spend more time comforting your animal than partying.
We all know cats and dogs (and I guess gerbils and fish and any other household pet) are easily spooked by the fireworks. Sometimes they can get super freaked out and whine and generally break your heart in their distress. This holiday, spend more time petting them and loving them than you do actually having fun. We all know animals are better than people anyways.
7. Memorize the entire "Independence Day" monologue and perform a one-person show.
Here, I'll even get you started.
I mean, it fits, doesn't it? Independence day, Independence Day, you get it. Our world isn't overrun by aliens so the situation isn't the same but the sentiment is there. Memorize this entire thing and dramatically recite it to anyone who will listen: your mom, your neighbor, your cat, your ficus named Jerry that you haven't watered in a really long time (you should probably do that). Let your inner actor take the reigns.
Get lit this Fourth of July. Get wild, go crazy, have some fun. Hopefully this list is inspiration and you follow everything exactly as it's written. I'm an expert on all things fun, trust me.
