As a human being, I've been taught to be generous, loving and kind. I feel like those are the basics for being a decent person. However, as a girl I've also been taught an entirely different set of "rules" along with the basics.
In today's world, young girls are taught a multitude of things that have the potential to become destructive later on.
Here are a few harmful things girls are taught from a young age.
1. "Women have to be in the kitchen."
I know this was a practice that was established and followed years ago but wake up people, we're in the 21st century. If a woman wants to be a stay at home mom, that's wonderful. However, if a woman wants to work and have a career, that shouldn't be a problem either. If she wants to do both, that should be accepted too.
Some women are made to feel like their only purpose in life is to be in the kitchen. We are good for so much more than just dinner on the table.
2. "Women should wear makeup."
It's almost expected that once girls hit high school, we have to start wearing makeup. I know society has, in the past, made me feel like I'm ugly without makeup. That boys won't like me without makeup. I've discovered recently that if I don't want to wear makeup, I don't have to. I choose to wear makeup because I like the artistic freedom it gives me. To be able to play with contour shadows and highlights to create an illusion is exciting for me.
The pressure society puts on women to wear makeup has the power to cause large amounts of damage on a girls self-esteem.
But what kills me is we get shit for not wearing makeup but then we get shit for wearing too much. I don't get it.
On the days where I don't want to wear makeup, I shouldn't be made to feel less than I am.
3. "Women should be small."
I write that literally and figuratively. There's no doubt that on a literal level, society teaches girls they have to be "skinny" in order to be pretty. That if our thighs touch, we're fat.
There are so many factors that go into the weight that people seem to overlook. The fact that fat distributes itself differently from person to person. Two people could weigh the same amount but one could have bigger boobs and the other could have bigger thighs.
On a figurative sense, my whole life I've tried to make myself as small as possible when sitting down. I either cross my legs so the leg on top can fit behind the leg in a normal position or cross my legs by my ankles (like Kate Middleton does). As I'm writing this, I can hear my mom telling me to cross my legs when I was 14.
When you look at the way men sit, they have a larger stance. One leg might be making sort of a "four" on top of the other, they might have their legs stretched out and crossed so the ankles touch, or their legs might just be ajar with two feet firmly on the floor.
What I'm saying is, girls are taught to take up as less space as possible.
4. "Guys have to make the first move."
Growing up with princesses and princes, I've been taught that the man has to save the woman. That when the woman is in distress, it'll all be OK because the man will come out of nowhere and save you and then they fall in love and live happily ever after (whatever that means).
When did it become "wrong" for a woman to make the first move? When did it become "not normal" for the woman to save the man? At the end of the day, we're all human beings and need saving every once in a while. So what, I want to make the first move? Who cares? If I want something, I go get it. I don't wait for it to come to me. So if I want to ask a guy out, you can bet your ass I have no problem asking.
When women make the first move I feel like society looks at it as the girl being clingy, desperate, aggressive etc. But why? It's OK for a guy to go after what he wants but not a girl? Who made up these rules, I'd love to have a chat with them.
5. "It's our fault."
Do you ever find that when a waiter or waitress gets your order wrong, you say "I'm sorry, but..."? A friend pointed out to me the other day...why are you saying sorry? I find that I have to apologize for everything. "I'm sorry I'm annoying", "I'm sorry I don't have exact change", "I'm sorry but could you move", "I'm sorry for breathing". The list goes on and on. Even walking in NYC, when someone would bump into me, I found myself mumbling a small "sorry". But they're the ones who bumped into me, so why am I apologizing? Maybe this happens to guys too I don't really know. But I feel like girls are taught that it's always going to be our responsibility to apologize.
Everything always seems to be our fault. I don't get why because like I've stated before, we're all human beings. We make mistakes and that's OK.
6. "Say nothing, do nothing, be nothing."
Just keep our mouths shut and be quiet right? Don't disagree, just go along with it yeah? That just doesn't sit well with me. If I have something to say, I will not hold back. I have the right to speak my mind. I have the right to disagree just as much as the next person and I have the right to express my opinion. We are taught to not be confrontational and be graceful.
You don't want to be too expressive or people will find you annoying. I don't understand why expressing yourself is considered a negative thing.
As a girl, I will not be nothing. I will be extraordinary. And no one is going to stop me.
7. "I'm not like other girls."
Well, I should hope we're not all the same...what fun would that be?
I feel like, as kids, we're told to be different and that it's OK to not like the same things as the next person. However at the same time, society has made it so we want to be skinny and tall and whatever the definition of "pretty" is. It's turned into, "She's prettier than me," "She's thinner than I am," etc. We somehow ended up in a war against each other. I find that girls are constantly comparing themselves to other girls. I do this too and every time, I'll tell myself that it's OK we don't look the same.
Too often I see girls saying they deserve to be bullied by a girl simply because she's prettier. Why are we told that we need to be like "the other girls." What's wrong with being ourselves?
We are all awesome and it's OK that we're all different. Different is good.
