Maybe this isn’t completely accurate, and I know many people are big fans of Soul Cycle, but I recently realized that I am not one of those people. I went to my first Soul Cycle class back in March and it was interesting, to say the least. When I decided to go back yesterday night I realized how strange it is. It basically felt like a party in the desert filled with a bunch of bikes. Go to Soul Cycle and you’ll understand. Here are just a few things I was thinking during my ride….
1. Welp here we go.
2. Damn it’s pretty dark in here.
3. Is this a club?
4. Everyone looks really athletic...
5. That’s fine.
6. Oh, there’s the instructor person.
7. How do I get on this bike??
8. Why are they all so close to each other?
9. Ok good, someone’s coming to help me get on this bike, score.
10. Alright cool, my feet snapped into this thing and I’m off!
11. Here we go, turn up.
12. God, it’s 90 degrees.
13. Instructor is approaching the bike, I repeat the instructor is approaching!
14. It just got real.
15. Damn, her microphone is loud.
16. I so got this, I had a bike once.
17. Her microphone sounds like the person telling me to keep my arms and legs inside the ride before a roller coaster.
18. Is that too far off?
19. It is way too hot in here.
20. Wait, what is she doing? No, stop, don’t turn off the fan! Please God, no!
21. Well that’s just a shame.
22. Aaaaand…. I’m sweating.
23. Is this only the second song?
24. Bullets, sweating bullets here.
25. Everyone’s going pretty hard.
26. At least my outfit makes me look like I go to the gym.
27. I am not cut out for this.
28. I should really workout more.
29. Why did she turn the fan off??
30. Why is the instructor surrounded by candles?
31. Why is it so dark?
32. Again, is this a club?
33. This is like the inside of Abercrombie, but with bikes and louder music.
34. Is that too far off? Probably.
35. Is this what EDC was like?
36. So. Much. EDM music.
37. Oh hold up, I actually really like this song
38. OK my ankles are sweating.
39. Is that normal?
40. My sweat is sweating.
41. How is everyone else not dying?
42. How are her elbows in sync with the music? I thought this was a biking thing.
43. Oh shoot, now it’s an arm workout with these little weights.
44. This feels pretty heavy for 2 pounds
45. Her microphone is killing me.
46. Wait, there’s a pregnant women in here
47. Damn, you go girl.
48. I wonder if Soul Cycle is good for the child...?
49. Back to peddling like a crazy person.
50. I feel like I’m being chased and all I have is this bike.
51. Still salty she turned off the fans.
52. At least I have this towel.
53. At least the bathrooms here are nice.
54. Yup, I’m definitely in the process of pulling my hamstring.
55. All right for real how much longer.
56. I don’t do enough cardio. CLEARLY.
57. I wonder who invented Soul Cycle.
58. Ugh, I wish I invented Soul Cycle.
59. Think of the money.
60. Did she just say this was the last song?
61. There is a God.
62. People are slowing down. This is a good sign.
63. Oh my gosh it’s over.
64. Not too bad, not too bad.
65. Nope can’t feel my legs.
66. Oh well.
