We have all seen clickbait pop up on one website or another, and somehow it is irresistible. How do they always get us to read through these crazy articles? I'll tell you how. It's how I am going to get you to read this article.

1. I am Going to use an Attention Grabbing Title

In my title I am going to reference something well known (like click bait) and use a simple number to make you pay attention because digits grab attention. I am going to use the pronoun "you" because it will make you feel like I am talking directly to you. I am going to use very polarizing statements to get you emotionally invested, because all publicity is good publicity.

2. I Am Going to Put in a Weird Picture.

I am going to pair my title with a strange and intriguing picture. Probably something largely photoshopped, like a famous celebrity's head photoshopped onto the body of a porn star. This is going to make you think "When was that picture taken?" and you will read my article just to find out. Then I will either not use that picture in my article or I will put it at the very end so you read the entire thing because you have to find out about that one picture.

3. I am Going to Write in List Format

People these days don't like reading so I am going to make my article more digestible to the uneducated, young or lazy population by breaking it into easy to read chunks.

4. I am Going to Reference a Number in my Article in the Description

I am going to use some phrase like "you won't believe..." "...is so true" "I shat myself when I saw..." then put in a number of one the things mentioned in my article. This will make you want to know what I talk about under that number. But I am not going to tell you that. You have to open my article to find out what I say under that number.

5. I am Going to Use Any Tag That Relates to This Article at All

I am going to profile you and use barely related tags so this pops up on your browser everywhere you go. If I am really set on getting you to see this I am going to pay for it to be sponsored on pages I think relate to this. I am going to use your cookies to see if you read clickbait often and put it on your page if you do. I will also change the title and picture to fit what articles you tend to read most.

6. I am Not Going to Write Anything Above a 6th Grade Reading Level

Once again I am catering to the uneducated, lazy and young. I don't want you to have to think too hard to read this article because then you will get tired and stop reading, so I am going to use simple sentences and easy words to keep you reading.