Most college students understand what it's like to eat in a dining hall. It can be a struggle, it can be convenient, and it usually isn't as bad as people say it is. But something we all run into is those people who eat very specifically in the dining hall. So here are a few of the types I have observed in my two years of eating in a dining hall.
1. The Buffet-Style
This person, usually a male, doesn’t sit down for 15 minutes after they arrive at meals because they are busy collecting their various foods. If they don’t have five plates and three cups before they sit down, there’s something wrong with them. These people are probably skinny, athletic, and will eat anything they can to keep up with their insane metabolism. And, they will eat like this every meal of every day, taking full advantage of their meal plan.
2. The Potato Lover
One thing every dining hall does correctly is potatoes. Hash browns at breakfast, French fries every other time of day, mashed potatoes at dinner. Potatoes are always an option, and they are almost always delicious. So those picky eaters with a deep love for straight-up starch will eat potatoes at every meal, if not as their whole meal. If more than one type of potato is available, they will no doubt be eating both French fries and a baked potato. It’s not the healthiest way to live, but it sure tastes good.
3. The Health Nut
These people eat a bird’s serving of granola and fruit for breakfast, a small salad for lunch, and some tiny serving of something healthy for dinner. When these people are eating, you feel bad about the bowl of French fries or pile of dessert, because they have the willpower to eat very little when they’re surrounded by so much.
4. The Weirdo
These people just don’t eat real meals. Period. They’re the weird kind of picky eater, where their meal consists of some chicken slices, peanut butter, croutons, and some cottage cheese. Maybe some straight-up guacamole or some accidental wasabi, depending on the day. None of this stuff is mixed together or anything, just eaten in the same sitting. For some reason, this is what they want to eat, even though it looks really weird to the rest of us.
5. The Sloth
The reason it takes you and your friends an hour to eat dinner, this person contemplates every bite before they eat it, and it takes them at least five seconds to bring another bite to their mouth. You know that scene in “Zootopia” where the sloths run the DMV? That’s how slow they eat.
6. The Master Thief
They have perfected the art of sneaking full meals out of the dining hall right past the check-in stand. I’ve heard of people sneaking out 20 oranges at a time, or an entire cookie tray, while others get stopped for carrying an apple or trying to leave with a mug. It’s a true art form that every cheap college student should master.
You may identify with one or more of these categories, and any college student has met these weird eaters in the dining hall. Embrace your weird eating habits whole-heartedly, because it's college, and nobody really cares what you eat.
