Since I was fourteen, I worked as a waitress. I have worked in two restaurants over the past four years, and I loved every minute of it. I became the person I am today because of the people I worked with, showing me what to do, and, honestly, what not to do. I learned what to do in moments of extreme pressure, how to fix any mistake I’ve made, and how to handle myself in all sorts of uncomfortable situations. I learned how to deal with all kinds of people, the difficult ones, the racist ones, the cheap ones who question you on the prices (sir, the price of the fries is not under my control), and the mean ones. Yes, at times work can be chaotic, but I thrive in every second of it.
Below you will read six truths about being a server: what we're really thinking behind the smile, calming voice, and sweet laugh we do when you make a joke that isn’t really funny.
- I do not dress this way to impress you. I have heard from so many friends that waitresses dress to show off their figures in order to flirt with you. I promise you, getting your number at the end of the night is not what I desire. If you like the way I dress and want to tip me more, then that’s your prerogative. Take a look at yourself and realize that my goal in life is way higher than winning your approval.
- Children are the enemy. On a rare occasion, I will get a table with well-behaved children and it will seem like a godsend. Some children are terrifying. I was once berated by a seven-year-old because his chocolate milk wasn’t “chocolatey” enough, and all I could do was stand there, smile, and pretend him yelling at me was the cutest thing on Earth. Please, please, don’t ask me if I want to hold your baby. I fell into that trap once, and five seconds later I was puked on. Yet again, another smile, and pretending your baby’s barf is adorable. If your child starts crying, I will try my hardest to be sympathetic, because I know kids are tough, but when I start to go deaf, I will start to resent you.
- Your flirting is tiresome. Surprising enough, I know, but your half-drunken, slurred flirtatious comment does not make me blush and swoon. Most of the time, you are old enough to be my dad, and on the off-chance you’re in my age range, you probably don’t have enough courage to step up and say something anyway. If you do, it’s probably going to be some lame pickup line. I know, I must be insane not to want your number, but shockingly, I’m here to work. I’ll smile and be polite because it’s what I’ve been trained to do. Sometimes I’ll laugh, and if you’re attractive or seem genuinely nice, I might even engage in conversation. Anything for a better tip.
- We will talk about you after you leave. Whether you’re a good customer or bad. If you’re good, we will praise you and laugh about the actually funny joke you made, or how highly you tipped, or how nice you were. If you were rude, bad, intoxicated, we will talk about you in ways that would be considered unkind. It’s nothing personal, honestly, but we need to have an outlet somehow, and ranting about you is it. You may consider the fact that you probably won’t see us again, so you think you can treat us however you please. We can’t do anything besides smile uncomfortably and find an excuse to leave as soon as possible. However, if you see us again, we’ll remember you. And if we never lay eyes on you again, you’ll still be that guy who was rude to the person who brought you your meal.
- Servers are treated with disrespect way too often. I would just like to say that I am way more than a waitress. A number of times I have been treated with disrespect because you consider me a “lower” level on the social hierarchy than yourself sincerely makes me laugh. I am a seventeen-year-old, currently attending boarding school, on High Honor Roll, going to a fantastic university in Washington, D.C., and nothing but a promising and bright future in front of me. We are more than you see. We are mothers, fathers, students, and our experiences have given us way more worldly knowledge than you can imagine.
- Work family looks out for each other. We spend seven days a week together, working from 8 AM until 12 AM (some nights, even later), eating meals together and spending time after work together. We look out for each other. We’ve been with each other for every crisis, difficult customer, and fight with our significant other. When you mess with one of us, you mess with all of us. No matter how deep in the weeds we get (that means no matter how busy we are), we will always find some way to help each other out. Whether it’s in or out of work, I always have my coworkers backs’. We’re a family.
