“Grief is the price we pay for love.” –Queen Elizabeth II
Dealing with the loss of a loved one is never easy. Whether you were close to them or not, one thing remains constant: death sucks. Here are some things that I've found, through trial and error, that help me deal with grief, loss, and death, and make the whole process just a little bit easier.
1.) It's okay to cry.
Crying is not always a sign of weakness. A good cry every once in a while is definitely a good thing, trust me. Especially with something as serious and distressing as death, crying only seems fitting. There is nothing wrong with being sad. There is nothing wrong with crying. The rivers of your eyes will one day dry, and you will feel better. Don't be afraid to let it all out. Just let it happen.
2.) Know that you are not at fault.
Often times, when someone passes, people tend to blame what happened on themselves. Know that there was nothing you could have done and that you are not at fault. Death is a natural part of life. It is as inevitable as the sun rising and setting, and although it is expected eventually, the point at which it comes is almost always unexpected. Make peace with what has happened. To put it bluntly, there is nothing anyone can do. Tell yourself: You are not to blame. You are not to blame. Everything happens for a reason, whether we know what it is or not.
3.) Understand the repercussions of death.
Take the death of a loved one as an opportunity for a life lesson. Let it serve as a reminder that life is fragile and tomorrow is promised for no one, so therefore we should cherish every moment we have on this Earth- we never know when it could be our last. Spread love, kindness, and respect to all around you. Everyone is fighting a silent battle that you might not know about. Be cautious and kind. Love wholeheartedly.
4.) Celebrate life.
Make sure, when contemplating someone's loss, to focus on the positives of their life instead of the departing of it. The grieving process, while devastating, should be a hopeful celebration of the life that amassed the person you knew them as. Do not dwell on the impact of the loss, instead, focus on the impact of the life lived and celebrate it for what it was.
5.) Find comfort in constructive things.
To take the pain of a loss away, sometimes it’s hard to not head straight for something that instantly removes the pain. However, often times, these techniques are temporary, and when the pain comes back, it can hit harder than before. Take the pain with a grain of salt. Understand that it is a necessary part of healing. It will get better. Push through it. Take solace in something that can be beneficial like a higher power or even just talking to someone. The stages of grief are natural. And if it's hard, that's okay. No one said it would be easy.
6.) Allow time to help you heal.
Time heals most things. Give things a chance to naturally fade. The seasons will change, the tides will turn, and things will be better. This place that you are in is not permanent. Life, as I have found, has a funny way of working out. Go at your own pace, but don't lose sight of the light at the end of the tunnel. No matter how hard things may seem, hold on long enough to get there. There will come a day when you will stand tall, take a deep breath, and feel at peace- things won't hurt as much anymore, and your patience and persistence will be worth it.
